Smile Again (A PewdieCry Fan Fic)
by luvme123
Summary: A tragic car crash leaves fifteen year old Felix a little shaken up. Or a lot. He won't talk. Or eat. Or sleep. So, tiredly, Felix's mom enlists the help of Cry, a friends mentally ill son, to help Felix smile again. (T for language, of course) (mentions of suicide/ self-harm) (eventuall pewdiecry, maybe) EVENTUALL FEELS/ LOTS OF EM
1. Chapter 1

A car pulls into a small American town, driving down the small maze of familiar streets and into the drive way of a two story victorian home. A teenage boy basically hops out of the car, gasping for breath as tears well up in his eyes. Combing his dirty blonde hair, he looks up to the house, then across the street, and then his neighbors. It was a quiet enough environment, fit for a teenage boy to grow up in.

"Felix, could you grab the door for me?" The boys mother asks. Felix complies, opening the door for his mother with a sigh. His mother enters the home, a suitcase in hand, and drops down on the couch. The movers seem to have put everything in order. "You can go up to your room, it's upstairs."

The door all but slams as Felix rushes up the stairs to find his room. He has a ghost of a smile as he opens the door to see a bed already set up, but quickly as it arrived, it left as Felix grabs a box labled _Felix's bed-spread. _He gets straight to work, setting up the comfortor and quietly laying down, his eyes trailing to his open window across the room. He wanted desperately to get up, to go to the window and yell, scream, anything, but the weight of jet lag weighs him down, and he finds another reason to stay in silence.

* * *

"Mary! I missed you so much, how's Felix?" A brunnette woman asks excitedly, holding her arms out for a hug. Mary smiles sadly, hugging her friend.

"Better, I think. I heard him humming to himself earlier; it was quiet, and rough, but you could _hear _him. That's what's important." She says, running a hand through her blonde hair. "How's Ryan?"

"It's.. uh... He likes to be called Cry now." The woman says, looking awkwardly at her hands. "He's on his way."

"Well, I can't wait to see him; it's been way too long, Alice." Mary and Alice hug again, moving to the kitchen where Mary had been unpacking.

"It really has been. We need to have a girls night soom. I'll invite Cherice and Linda over sometime." Alice says. There's a hasty knock at the door and Alice jumps up. "That's Cry, I'll bet. Be right back." A moment later, Alice returns with a short brunnette boy, with a pale white mask over his face. The mask barely fazes Mary as she puts a pan in the cupboard.

"Hello Cry! I haven't seen you in ages, you've gotten so big!" She smilrs, opening her arms for a hug. The boy, Cry, hugs Mary, hesitating a moment as he steps forward. "My son Felix is upstairs, could you go see if he's willing to socialise?"

Cry nods, letting his still body go limp as he walks slowly up the stairs. Quietly padding down the hall, he looks for Felix's room.

"I bet I need to explain a bit before you fully realize what you're doing, huh? Letting him over here." Alice says. Mary looks from the stairs where Cry had dissapeared to her friend.

"As long as he helps my baby, I won't worry; but you look like you have a load to take off your chest."

Alice sighs.

"It started sometime after his dad died, they told me. He made up imaginary friends. Lots of 'em. Normal for a little kid, right? Well, his dad died when he was thirteen. Not so normal. The kids laughed at him, for his imaginary friends. It was horrible for him, losing a father. I was no help, either; I was comatose, worse than Felix is right now, and he was lonely.

"The doctors didn't shugar-coat it when they told me about his developing psycosis, either; they came straight out and said that it was basically my fault he got theses horrible disseases. I could've talked to him about his imaginary friends,took him to sports practices, and- oh, I felt horrible. They basically told me that if I hadn't been stuxk wallowing in my own self-pity that my son wouldn't have that damned mask covering his beautiful face.

"And,fuck, I hate myself for that." Alison says, tears rolliing down her cheek. Mary walks up to Alison, giving the brunnette a side-hug.

"It was a car crash that put Felix into his state; that's why he looked so freaked out when we got here. He hates cars no, and I don't expect him not to. But I want him to smile again. Can Ryan do that?"

"Get him to smile? I sure hope he can. Maybe he'll smile, too."

**First chapter. Nice? No? Maybe? Anyways, more feels, more back story, and a bit of info on cry later; peace!**

**~L**


	2. Chapter 2

Cry awkwardly opens the door to what he hoped was Felix's roomnamee room, like the rest of the house, was full of boxes, but unlike the rest of the house, a tall blonde boy lay in a made bed. Silently taking off his mask, cry looks at the only un open box. One labled _Felix's bed-spread_.

"Y- you must be Felix. I'm Cry." Cry says, sitting criss-cross applesause on the floor next to Felix. Felix nods hastily, looking at Cry with curiosity. There's a moment of silence as Felix sits up, looking at Cry with heavy, curious, eyes. His iron blue eyes trail to the 'sup mask laying awkardly in Cry's hand by the string. Felix's hands start rambling on in odd motions, and stop as Cry looks at him strangely.

"... You know sign language?" He suddenly asks. Felix nods. "Ok, uh.. sighn that again?"

_What's with the mask?_

"I wear it all the time. Don't tell my mom it's off, ok?" Cry says quietly, holding the mask closer to his chest.

_How am I gonna tell her? _Felix smirks. Cry chuckles, relaxing.

"I have a feeling we're going to be friends." He smiles as his watch beeps. "Shit, gotta go to work; I'll see you tomorrow, ok?"

_ok. Bye cry._

"See you Felix." Cry smiles, pulling his mask on and opening the door. Quietly, Cry walks down the steps towards the small kitchen.

"Cry? Is something wrong, honey?" Felix's mother says, looking up.

"N- no, I don't think so, I just came to tell you guys that I'm on my way to work." Cry stutters, looking down. His eyes trail onto the tiled floor as he pulls his head up again.

"Cry, sweetie, can't you get those silly videos up later, you just got here." His own mother asks sadly. Cry groans.

"Mom, I've told you this a million times! I have to upload at least seventy-two hours of footage a week, and I need to upload three hours to get to the limit; if I get it done today, I can hang out over here as long as you two please tomorrow."

"But Felix-"

"I told him I'd be back tomorrow; he said he was fine with it." Felix's mother gasps.

"H- he.. he talked?" She whispers, a sliver of hope lining her swedish accent. Cry shakes his head.

"He used sighn language. Now look, guys, I gotta go. Scott and Russ are waiting for me to set up the stream." He says, walking briskly out of the kitchen. "Bye guys!"

"So- so Felix basically spoke and it's his first day here..." Felix's mother says, wringing her hands together with exitement. "If Cry keeps this up, Felix'll be talking for real by time school starts!"

"Yeah!" Cry's mom smiles. "They'll be friends again!"

The two mothers chat excitedly, remembering their old lives with glee before Felix's mother could ask about Cry's job.

"So, Alice, what exactly does cry do? For work?" She asks.

"He runs this little YouTube channel; it's pretty successful, so YouTube decided to pay him to make these videos. So basically, he's getting paid to play video games all day long." Cry's mother sighs, rolling her eyes.

"What? Play video games? You said he made videos." The other woman sighs, confusedly twittling her thumbs.

"He does; he's what YouTube calls a 'let's player.'"

"Sounds.. Interesting. Felix is into that kind of stuff, I wonder if he watches his videos.. What's his name on YouTube?"

"Cryaotic."


	3. Chapter 3

Cry tramples into his room, shoving his mask onto his bed with a hasty sigh. He logs onto his computer, pulling up his steam account. A little white creature pops up, its poker face forming an indestinguishable smile. It hops onto the top of the chair, pushing its way up to crys shoulder.

"'Sup cry?" The thing asks. Cry groans as he fills out the streams info and tweets that he'd be streaming.

"Nothing sup guy, I'm working." Cry says. Sup guys eyes furrow, his straight mouth opening in an even oval.

"He wants to come back, Cry. He says he's sorry about last time." Sup guy says simply. He starts to climb down to where he came from on the floor, falling as he had no arms. Cry lets out an exhasperated sigh as he leans down to help the small white thing to his soft feet.

"Tell him like hell I'll talk to him. I'm not sorry." The brunnette scoffs, his blue eyes filled with a raging fire.

"No need, sup guy." A voice says. The voice sounded like crys, and he instantly knew who it was before the figure belonging to the voice stepped out of the shadows.

Cry scoffs, turning towards his computer and hitting _send message. _The brunnette starts hastily typing a note to Russ and Jund that he'd set up the stream and they could log in. The figure steps behind him, grabbing his wrist from the keyboard.

"It's been two weeks, cry, when are you going to talk to me again?" He says. Cry growls, seeing no way of getting out of the situation; it was either talk of stay like that the rest of the night, with his tired arm growing numb through the tight grip of the imaginary person holding it.

"Well, I guess now would be sufficient, as I see no other way of getting you to let me go, Ryan." Cry growls. Ryan smiles a sadistic smile, running a hand through his brown locks; he looked _exactly _like cry. They looked almost identical, even wearing the same sweatshirt, the same jeans, their hair flipped over their foreheads almost identically. The only difference was under the clothes. The tiny pink scars tracing crys right arm were a bad reminder of his phycopathia, his imaginary friends. Obviously, Cry knew Sup guy was one of them, but he couldn't quite tell with Ryan. He just assumed he was, but his touch seemed real.

Letting a wide grin spread across his face, Ryan continues. "Look, I didn't mean to do that. Or to say what I said. Will you at least forgive me?"

"Forgive you? I don't think so. You're the reason people think I'm crazy! The reason I was put into a mental hospital, _twice._ The reason my mom's going to send me back again if I can't help Felix not become me! So no, I'm not going to forgive you." Cry hisses, pulling up one of his sleves. Thin, pinkish scars lay jaggedly across most of crys forearm. "You're the reason I have these. Now you and Sup guy leave, I have work to do."

"Fine," Ryan says, picking up the small marshmallow-like creature. "See you later. But remember, cry; keep the mask on, fugly."

Cry gives Ryan an astonished look.

"That's right, I saw you at the new neighbors house, all cozy with the new kid. He's a nice kid, shouldn't be cursed with the sight of your ugly face." With that, Ryan dissapears, Sup guy following closely behind.

* * *

"That's a.. lovely name, Alice." Felix's mother says, turning her direction to the laptop on the counter. She types in _Cryaotic _in the Google search bar and tons of suggestions pop up almost immediately.

_Cryaotic face_

_Cryaotic face real_

_Cry+spoon play_

_Cryaotic fanfiction_

_Mad!Cry_

"Which one should I click?" The blonde woman asks.

"None of these," Alice sighs, turning the laptop towards her. She types in _Cryaotic live . _A link pops up, to a website gamers use, and the slender woman clicks it. "I watch his streams sometimes, but it's quite painful for me to see him so comfortable with these people he's never met."

A stream starts playing as Alice searches quietly for her sons. Letting out a grin, she clicks the right one. A clip plays of Cry and his friends playing a game through video feed. There were multiple new voices that Alice didn't recognise, but she shook it off as the game started.

"These children are quite vulgar," Felix's mother says after a while. "You let Cry swear so openly like that?"

"No," Alice sighs. "He does that on his own; most viewers don't quite care, gladly, and if they do he draws them in with his humor."

"Well," Felix's mom says, grabbing a paper plate and some pizza. "I'm gonna take this up to Felix, mind if I bring the laptop? I'm sure the boy's just having a blast up there without his precious laptop."

"No, not at all." Alice says. "He could watch the stream if he wants to."


	4. Chapter 4

"Felix honey, I've got some food for you." Mary smiles at her son. Felix looks up from where he stared out the window at the sun setting behind the house across the street. She hands Felix the peperoni pizza and then his laptop. Almost happily, Felix opens the laptop as the stream poped up again.

He gives her a questioning look.

"I thought you'd want your laptop back; I borrowed it earlier, sorry." Mary says. Felix gives another look, as if asking what the stream was for. "Alice and I were watching Cry work. He's a gamer, like you, and he posts stuff on YouTube and stuff."

Felix puffs out a breath of air. He knew what a YouTuber was, he wasn't stupid. He watches the stream, contented by the voices on the laptop. Mary sighs, giving up her attempts to get her son to talk. Or do anything to interact with her. _He seemed fine with Cry, _She thinks, turning and exiting the room. _Why's he being so closed in around me? I'm his mother! _

"Have fun, baby. I'll be back to throw away your plate later." She huffs, knowing Felix wouldn't get off his depressingly heavy limbs to do it himself. He'd barely made it to the car earlier. She walks down the stairs, the slight spring in her step vanishing as she plops into her chair. "It's hopeless; he just won't talk to me."

"It's alright Mary, remember the whole reason you came here? There's still hope they'll remember." Alice says, rubbing her friends back. Mary lets in a shaky breath, refusing to cry.

"You're right. Now, can you tell me what lead to Cry's YouTube channel?"

"Well," Alice recalls. "It was about a month after his dad died. He was still haunted by the memories of finding him, hanging there, and had to take the bus to therapy sessions across town since I wouldn't get out of bed. The doctor who worked with him suggested doing as much things he could to take off the memories. Play with friends, ride bike, watch tv, everything he did before his father's suicide, but more. Cry decided that the other kids wouldn't know what he went through, so he made up a lot of friends to play with.

"It was unusually rainy that year, so I could hear him giggling as he hid from no body. I was so scared, and depressed, that I stayed in hiding from this boy that looked so much like his father that the damage was far done by time I confronted him about his 'friends.' He only has a few now, and most of his real friends are online. There's one of them, though, I don't like. He's done so many things to my poor baby. I hate him for that." Alice was about to continue, just getting to the YouTube part when Mary stops her.

"An online friend? You should report him to the police if he's been tormenting your kid!" She exclaims. Alice chuckles slightly, sniffling.

"I wish; no, actually, an imaginary friend of his. His name is Ryan, which is why we don't call him that anymore. He calls cry ugly, tells him that he's the reason his dad killed himself, that he was ashamed of him. That he should always keep a mask over himself. He's made Cry suicidal; he cuts his wrists as if he's the only one that could see them." Alice sniffles again, letting out a choked sob. Mary rubs her friends back, soothing her as she continues. "Cry says he looks so much like him, right to the clothing. They're twins. It's like in those silly fanfictions he raves to his buddies around the block about.. uh.. what's he called.."

A paper slips its way in front of alice at the table.

_Mad._

The women look up, puzzled looks in their eyes as they see Felix, a black-tipped pen in hand as he takes the peice of paper again and writes something down, sliding it over to the two again. The black ink smudges as Mary grabs the paper warily.

_They call him Mad in the fanfictions. Looks exactly like him, identical copy, but with a different mask. Wiry, stitched-up smile, blood caked all over. Mad has a blood-lust, mostly for Cry himself, sometimes others. He makes cry do things he doesn't want to do, but whenever Mad gets in controll he proceeds with the plan fully, often leaving Cry with some reminder of what happened. A lot of the time it's a new scar. _

Alice looks up at Felix with a half-smile on her face as Mary reads the note over and over again. This was something her son wrote. Another sign of communication. First sign language, then the note- she was happy. No, more than happy, extatic.

"So you've heard of him?" Mary asks with suprise. Felix nods. Alice smiles.

"So you read fanfiction, Felix? I didn't quite think you'd turn out to be that guy." She smiles. Felix blushes, letting out an embarrased scoff. Silently as he came, he ascends the open staircase, his mother and Alice watching lovingly from the table.

"Part one moved rather quickly, didn't it Alice?" Mary smiles to herself.

"Yes. Yes it did."

**I often need to remind myself not to type Pewdie instead of Felix... Even though he becomes PewDiePie in later chapters he has to be called Felix in this one. Anyways, fave and follow for more, and please drop a comment in the box, it'd be much apreciated, it gives me more to write for, so yeah... **

***brofist* **

**~L**


	5. Chapter 5

Cry sighs, pulling his mask on over his wet, freshly washed, hair. Ryan hadn't showed up since yesterday. He'd expected him to show up at least after the stream, but he never did. He was scared Ryan was forming a plan in his devious mind. As he stalks down the stairs, sliding his freshly charged ds in his sweatshirt pocket, he notices the faint aroma of perfume, something his mother hasn't worn in ages.

"Mom?" He asks, creeping into the kitchen where a note lay on the counter from his mom.

_Cry, I went to Mary's, come over when you wake up; Mary and I have to go to the store and don't wanna leave Felix alone. -Mom._

Cry groans, knowing that if his mother was wearing perfume the two women would be out for ages. Nearly silently, though, he trudges to the door, happy to be seeing Felix again. He had a sense he'd known the silent boy longer than he actually did. Knocking on the door, he smiles a bit, hoping Mary could see his enthusiasm.

"Cry! Hi," Mary says, nearly a whisper. Cry tilts his head in confusion. "I don't want Felix to hear this."

"Wh-"

"He'll hate me forever if he were to hear this." She voices, seeing the confusion the teen was emiting. She slides out the door quietly with a sheepish look. "Felix has this thing called insomnia. He won't sleep for days at a time, and if he does, it's if someone is in the room with him and only for a few hours; he has really bad nightmares. I figured you could help? I know your nights get a bit rough, too.

"Anyways, your mother and I nearly got him to sleep, but we really have to go finish up some legal papers at the court house. We'll be the majority of the day, and I don't want Felix to be left alone."

"So basically you want me to Felix-sit." Cry states blandly. Mary nods, looking sheepish.

"You'll probably just sit in his room while he sleeps, but he's a heavy sleeper when actually sleeping, so you could play some games or something..?"

"I'm fine with it. Poor guy's gotta sleep some time." Cry smiles again, and Mary leads him quietly to the kitchen with a smile.

"Ok, so here's my number if you need to call, I'll have my phone with me and on vibrate at all times, so if anything happens you can't handle, like a nightmare, call me. I assume you have your mothers number, in case you can't reach me for some reason.

"I left a twenty on the counter for pizza or some sort of delivery for dinner, there's enough leftovers for both of your lunches, so don't worry about that, and Felix shouldn't be much of a bother. Just try and keep him asleep, yeah? Thank you so much Cry, you're a life saver." Mary leads Cry up the stairs, silently opening the door to Felix's room, where his own mother sit crouched by a sleeping Felix's bed.

Alice stands silently, letting her perfume trail out of the room with her as she enters the hall. The women exit silently, waving goodbye as they part, leaving Cry to his own thoughts. Absent-mindedly, Cry sits where he had the day before; next to the bed, face leveled with Felix's. He slides his phone out, switching it to vibrate as he types up Mary's number and saves it to his contacts.

Cry feels the bed shift next to him and he looks up at Felix, who was now watching him with content eyes.

"You should sleep, man, it's alright." Cry says to him, switching his cell phone for the ds. Felix shakes his head.

_I know you're just here to baby sit. You can go home, I'm fine._

"No, dude, I told you I'd come over today, didn't I?" Cry says, his eyes nervously searching Felix behind the mask.

_Why are you wearing that? _Felix asks with a slight twitch of his hand. Cry looks down in shame.

"Uh, you should really go to sleep. How long's it been since you slept a full eight hours?" Cry asks, trying to change the subject.

_A week, possibly. I don't remember. _

"Well, then you need to sleep. No exceptions." Cry says, lightly pushing Felix down. Felix tries to struggle at first, but instantly melts into his pillow, nodding to Cry in resentfull resignation.

_Why do you care if I don't sleep or not anyways? _

"Because I know what it's like to not want to sleep. To want to stay awake and hide from the nightmares that plauge your sleep. I know what it's like to be afraid. And you're new to it all. So you're twice as scared as I am." Cry says. Felix lets his eyes droop closed, a sliver of light coming through the curtains and landing on Cry's mask.

_I'll only go to sleep if you take that thing off. You look fine without it. _Felix signs, though he knew he was going to fall asleep if he liked it or not. Cry sighs as Felix opens his eyes, watching with curious eyes as he slides the mask off with a shy blush. Felix thinks nothing of it as he takes in all of Cry's face before closing his eyes and drifting into an oddly dreamless sleep.

As Felix drifts off, a sadistic boice creeps up in the back of Cry's mind. _Put it back on, fag. Don't ruin the poor boy's sleep._


	6. Chapter 6

_ *Felix was in the car, smiling at the brunnette girl in the passenger seat as he drove lightly back to the town they lived in; they'd gone out to the cinema. The girl smiles back, turning the radio as a hit song plays on the radio. She sings along lightly, her voice mixing with Riahnna's as they seemingly sing in unison. Felix smiles widely, turning his gaze back to the road as a loud crunching noise comes from the back of the car. _

_ Felix curses under his breath, getting farther to his own side of the road, but the only place to go was the ditch. The semi truck behind him was grinding into the car now, taking the back passenger seat with it as it plows forward. He shouts for her to get to his side of the car. _

_"Elise!" He yells. She looks at him, a terrified look in her eyes. "Elise, c'mon, get on my side of the car, it's safe! It's ok if you unbuckle, just get in the back!" _

_Elise doesn't move. She looks at him, tears streaming down her cheeks as she kisses him one last time. The truck finally plows through the seat, tearing Elise from Felix in a mess of blood and limbs. Elise doesn't scream. She's dead the moment the truck hits her. Her body had ripped in half. Felix cries as the crunching and screeching stops and the entire passenger side of his car is gone the semi barrels down the road, and cars try to evade the large vehicle, having seen what it did to Felix's car. There was an almost deafening silence...* _

_Felix jolts awake to see his bedroom empty. He slowly and cautiously maneuvers his way through the house clumsily, tripping over nearly everything in the house as he reaches the kitchen. On the counter lay a news paper. On the paper lay a new article; Car Crash Kills A Set Of Mothers And Sons, Family And Friends Devastated._

_On the article was a picture of Felix when he was younger, with his moms' friends and their kid when he was five. Then a picture of Felix, Cry, and their moms indavidualy. He drops the paper. _

Felix awakens for real now, gasping for breath as the air in his lungs escapes him all at once. He could see Cry through his panic and tries to sign to him, but his hand was clenched into a ball. His vision blurs as he watches Cry reach for something in his pocket. He assumed it was his phone, but instead he pulls out a small bag of pills.

"Felix, I need you to unclench your hand for me, ok?" Cry says softly, holding out his own hand. Felix does as told, trying to suck in a breath as he instead latches himself to Cry in desperate attempt to breath. Cry takes out a pill and pulls out a bottle of water Felix had on his night stand. He helps Felix to a sitting position, Felix still clutching his hand, and pops the pill into Felix's mouth, handing him the bottle so he can swig it down. "It's an anxiety pill, it'll help with your panic attack."

The words panic attack make Felix go even crazier. He tries to gasp for air, but to no avail.

"Calm down Felix, ok? We're going to count down from ten, and when I reach one, you'll hopefully be breathing normal again." Cry tskes in a sharp breath, trying not to panic himself as he held Felix's hand almost as tight as Felix was his. "Ten... You're loosening your grip on my hand."

Felix wasn't, but does right as Cry demands.

"Nine, you're looking at me. You're not focusing on anything else."

Felix looks at Cry as his vision returns slightly. Through the thinner haze he sees Cry had his mask on.

"Eight, you're realizing you're in no danger."

Felix shifts his gaze across his room in sign for anything suspicious, but sees nothing.

"Seven, you're relaxing your muscles."

Felix relaxes his muscles.

"Six, you're breathing's getting back on track."

He notices he's stopped gasping as much, and air was coming ruggedly through his lungs with shakey breaths.

"Five, you're realizing you're here with me. Four you're letting the pill sink in, feeling it work in your body. Three, you're taking a deep breath, you're breathing again. Two, you're gonna stop crying, and one... You're alright and don't have to hold my hand anymore."

Felix pulls a shaky hand away from Cry's own and sits up, wiping away some stray tears that seemed to have fallen with an embarrased huff.

_Sorry about that. _

"It's alright, man, happens to me all the time." Cry says.

_You have it on again. _

Cry gives an embarrased sigh.

"Yeah, uh.."

_If you feel uncomfortable with it off, keep it on, by all means; I didn't mean to offend you. _

"N-no! I like it when it's off, too, but.."

_What? _

"I know this is going to be stupid, but, uh.. I have this friend. Only I can see him. And he makes me feel down. I'm ugly and I know that, but he constantly likes to put me down by making it a fact. He tells me almost every day that I'm ugly, and I accept it, but he makes it harder to cope with that by putting out terrible truths." Cry says. "He's like my rock; keeping me from getting hurt, but hurting me in a whole different way."

Cry slides the mask off with shame, dropping a look to the ds that he'd abandoned on the floor when Felix had started to wimper. It was almost dead.

_Well, if it makes you any better, I don't think you're ugly; actually quite handsome. _

Cry smiles half-heartedly at Felix and smiles.

"So I noticed you have The Last Of Us; wanna play? I found a cheat where you can play two player as Ellie and her friend."

Felix grins, signing, _Yeah._

**Short, feels-ish, sweet. We gots da pewdiecry action in there a bit... all around awesome. I hope. **


	7. Chapter 7

It was near midnight when Mary and Alice return, slighly drunk, and Cry, with his mask back on, makes a shushing noise at the two cackling women. They'd obviously gotten out of the court house early. A half-empty pizza box was in the fridge and Felix lay asleep on the couch, whimpering lightly as the women quiet themselves.

Mary flashes a bright smile at Cry, giving him a thankful hug as she leads him and his mother to the kitchen. He pulls out his bag of anxiety pills and pulls some out, setting them in a smaller bag in which he procedes to lable _Felix._

"These are in case he has a panic attack. He told me he doesn't have a med perscription, so only give him one when he really needs it; I recommend getting him in to see a psyciatrist soon, so he can get the correct dosage if needed at all." Cry says, putting the bag on top of the small black microwave as Mary gulps down a glass of water. Mary gives him a questioning look. "I'll tell you later, when both of you are sober enough to remember anything. Now mom, go home, and get in bed, Ms. Kjeilburg, you should do the same; I can bring Felix up to his room if you don't want him on the couch."

Mary and Alice grin at eachother.

"Would you?" She asks. "Because I don't wanna leave him there, and I can hardly keep my own balance."

Cry nods, leading the women towards the doorway. Mary takes off to her room down the hall, quietly yelling goodbye to Alice as she closes the door.

"Where're you gonna sleep, here or at home?" Alice whispers, looking at the sleeping form that seemed to deepen itself into the cussions of the couch.

"Here, I guess. I doubt Mary would mind." Cry says. Alice nods curtly, fishing her keys from her purse before kissing the top of Cry's head. Cry lets out a sigh as he closes and locks Mary's front door, flicking off the porch light as his mother stumbles across the street. An image of a car barreling down the road and hitting her flashes through his mind as he flicks off the hall light.

Cry makes his way to the living room where Felix lay, curled up in a ball on the couch, and turns off the lamp, the only source of light in the room. With a grunt, he picks Felix up, letting his eyes adjust as he makes his way to the darkened hallway. He stumbles slightly on the first step, but quickly falls into a slight rythm as he ascends the tall staircase and down the upstairs hall. He drops Felix into his bed as they finally reach his bedroom.

He slides into his spot, eyes darting to the blank tv and gaming console as he he slides off the mask and slips Felix under the covers, leaving some so he could have some if he did fall asleep on the floor. It wasn't likely, though, seeing Felix was having a nightmare again. Quickly and quietly, Cry slides his hand into Felix's, calming him instantly.

* * *

Felix wakes to the sound of light cursing and an even lighter scuffling noise. He opens his eyes carefully to see Cry rubbing his head in pain. Chuckling silently, he lay back down and closes his eyes. Cry must've bumped his head, obviously, no need to make a fuss. He'd been on his phone.

"I know you're awake; sorry about that." Cry says, turning a gaze to the blonde pretending to sleep next to him. He had bags under his eyes and looked tired. Like he didn't sleep a wink that night. Which he didn't. He'd stayed up all night, making sure Felix didn't have another nightmare, studying his pale features in the dim lighting as he held the wimpering boys hand tightly.

Their hands were apart now, and Felix felt as if the warmth that Cry's hand in his was gone for good.

_Naw, dude, I was awake for a while, you're good. _Felix smiled a genuine smile at Cry as he sits up. _Now what was with the whole head injury? _

Cry smirks at Felix.

"If you'd been awake, you would know I planned a stream and my friend was calling me to remind me."

_Oh. _

"Yeah. I can hang out a bit more, but then I gotta get home; it takes a while to set up my house for these, especially with all my friends coming over for it." Cry smiles as Felix sits, taking a swig of his water from the bottle he'd used the other day. Pulling on his hoodie and sliding his cell pohone in his pocket, Cry makes to the door silently. He gives Felix one last look so they could wave.

_How'd you hit your head? _

Cry looks sheepish as he opens the door with a hesitant smile.

"I was hiding from someone." He says.

_The one that doesn't like you? Your 'rock?'_

Cry blushes, silently cursing to himself as he realizes how stupid he'd sounded the day before. He nods nonetheless.

"Yeah.. anyways, I'm gonna chat with our moms, if mines even here, and then I gotta go, so I'll see you after the stream, kay?"

_Yeah. Bye. _

Felix signs to Cry, trying to make his fingers move, to say, _don't go, I wanna talk about my dreams! Did you even sleep last night? Why do you look so tired? _but nothing comes out but that. He face palms himself.

* * *

Cry exits the room, a cold breeze rushing towards his face as he realizes he'd forgotten to put his mask back on. Quietly, he reaches toward his belt, where it had been fastened so it wouldn't get lost, and slides it on, the warmth of his own breath encasing him once more. With a satisfied sigh he troops down the stairs, half-startling Mary, who sat groggily on the counter looking at pictures on her phone with Alice.

"Oh, so you are here." Cry says to his mother, leaning against the wall near them. He tries to catch a glimpse at the pictures the women were oogling over, but Mary shuts her phone screen off before he could see.

"Of course I am, why wouldn't I be?" Alice says, looking towards her son.

"I just thought you'd still be passed out in bed, seeing you both were abnormally drunk." Cry says honestly. Alice looks confused, but Mary elbows her in the rib and a look of recognition crosses her face as she giggles.

"Yeah, sorry about that. Did we wake Felix?" Mary says for Alice. Cry shakes his head. "Good, so how'd it go? No nightmares?"

"No, there were nightmares. He fell asleep right after you guys left, had a nightmare and woke up at about six, we ate, and he wen't back to bed at ten." Cry says, feeling both pride and guilt swell through him. "Your change is on the counter, by the way."

"Great, thanks. You were suck a help; I didn't want to leave Felix by himself seeing I've done enough of that getting things packed up to move over here."

"Yeah. Well, anyways, like I said last night, I left some anxiety pills on the microwave if he absolutely needs it, and I recommend getting him to a psyciatrists and getting him cheaked for a correct dosage, but for now give him one." Cry says.

"Yeah, I was wondering, what made him need those, anyway? You said you'd tell me today." Mary says, her cunfusion winning over curiosity.

"Like I said, he had a nightmare. He wouldn't tell me spacifics, just random words forming through panicked clenching and unclenching of fists. I don't even think they were supposed to be words." Cry lies, a flicker of Felix gasping for air, yelling words out at intervals of no regular pattern flashing before his eyes. _Elise, Cry, Mom, truck, back, please._ "He had a panic attack, long story short, so I'm leaving a couple of my prescription anxiety pills in case he needs them."

"Ok..." Mary says, dragging in a needed breath. "How do the pills work, now?"

"They calm nerves, sending messages to the brain to relax, but often need to be triggered by a trigger word, such as it would to initiate panic. My dosage is three pills in case of attack, one if I feel one coming up, and again, I reccomend getting someone to check him out for his own prescription. The psyciatrist makes house calls if Felix really won't go in the car unless neccesary."

Mary nods curtly as Cry stands straight again, walking to the door. He bids the women goodbye as he leaves to get ready for the stream. Mary slides out her phone and shows it to Alice again. There was a picture of Cry, who had dozed off whilst Felix did, maskless. The mask was clearly strung to Cry's belt in the picture, so they knew that he'd taken it off himself. Alice looks at the picture, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

"He looks so grown up."


	8. Chapter 8

Cry drops to the floor in a huff, pulling out his phone as he boots up his laptop. _the house is finally clean, mom says you guys can come over now._ Cry messages his friend Russ. A moment later Cry gets a text from Russ affirming he'd be over with Red Jund and Snake in a few. A scoff emancipates through the air and Cry jumps, looking over his shoulder where Ryan sat precariously on the arm of his fouton he kept in his room.

"You know 'a few' could possibly mean hours?" He says, straightening his green T-shirt. Cry stiffens, sitting up cautiously.

"What do you mean?" Cry gulps down a breath as Ryan, in his nonchalant ways, saunters over to Cry with a sadistic grin.

"How many times has he done it before? Claiming 'Red was taking forever' or 'Snake had to finnish his chores before his mom would let him out'?" Twelve in the last twenty streams. I've been counting." Cry bows his head in defeat, knowing Ryan was probably right. "Oh, and by the way, nice hiding spot, new kid probably thinks you're weirder than yesterday, holding his hand and all."

"It's your fault, if you hadn't shown up I wouldn't have had to hide under the bed!" He defends, pointing a glare at his duplicate. Ryan looked just as tired as he did. "And he needed help, what did you want me to do? Leave him?"

"Yes." Ryan states simply. He moves his gaze to a book tucked away in Cry's bookshelf and Cry groans.

"This isn't even worth it, Ryan!" He yells as Ryan moves, quick and cat-like towards the book, sliding it out and open with one swift move. Out of it, Ryan pulls out something shiny. He walks towards Cry, the item shineing in the light. Cry gulps, moving his arms under himself as Ryan approaches.

"Or is it?" He laughs maniachly, seizing one of Cry's wrists as he draws out the item and digs it into Cry's skin. A razor blade. Cry gasps in pain, but Ryan points a heated glare in his direction, shutting him up instantly. So Cry watches as Ryan draws new lines onto his skin, the crimson liquid he knew so well dripping down his pale arm and onto his jeans. "I'm doing this for your own good."

Cry sneers at the imaginary man, glaring with all his strength as he hops up and towards the bathroom to clean the cuts.

"Like hell you are! I told you I didn't want you here anymore, didn't I? I'm getting better!" Cry growls, pulling a wet rag to his arm. The blood fills the small cloth instantly and Cry sucks in a hasty breath as he pulls it away and pours peroxide over it. Ryan laughs.

"Better? If you were 'better' you wouldn't even be seeing me right now! Wouldn't even think about me once! It's you that brought me here in the first place, it's you that has to get rid of me. Think about that for a while." Ryan hisses, dissapearing just as he came; silent. Cry just sets to work quietly, wrapping his arm in toilet paper before covering it with gauze and pulling on a sweatshirt. His forearm stung and his head throbbed as he ponders what Ryan had said. _It was you who brought me here in the first place, and it's you that has to get rid of me._

He had to get rid of him. No one else. He was alone in this.

And he wasn't sure he wanted all that power.


	9. Chapter 9

Felix was in his room, playing some prop hunt with his friends Michelle and Ken. He types up a message. _When's Tom joining us, guys? We've been waiting forever._ He asks, his message popping up on the screen. A soft giggle resonates through his headphones and he smiles lightly as Michelle speaks.

"He'll be here in a few, he just sent me a skype request." Michelle, or Minx, says. Felix checks his skype and sees a request from _ProSyndicate. _Quickly accepting, Felix types up a message for his friend.

_Bro, we've been waiting forever! Like an hour. _

Tom laughs. "Sorry Gandalf, and it's only been twenty minutes!" He says, smiling into the screen.

_I'm impatient, bro, you know that. _

The group laugh and continue playing for a while. The clock strikes seven and Minx stops.

"Kay guys I gotta go, my friend's doing a live stream in a bit and I promised I'd be the moderator." She says. Felix switches to his skype window.

"What friend?" Ken asks as the two other boys also switch to Skype, shutting down Gmod.

"Y'know Cryaotic?" Minx asks. Tom and Ken murmur their answers as Felix perks up.

_Yeah, I actually do; watch his videos all the time. _He types.

"Well, him and his friends are doing another late night tonight, like every saturday, and they asked me to moderate. Gotta go, but if you want you can join in the chat logs tonight; I'll be really bored." She says, waving lightly as she flicks back a strand of purple from her face. Her screen dissapears and the boys bid their goodbyes and log off. Felix instantly goes to his Twitch and logs on. He searches Cry's name in the search engine. _Live stream from Cryaotic in: 3 hours. _

Felix was a bit confused. Why did Michelle need to log off three hours early? Did she just not like hanging out with him? Was she upset with one of them? Why had Cry left at noon? He was confused.

Slowly, though, Felix makes his way down the stairs and towards the kitchen. In the kitchen, he seizes the bag of nacho doritos and walks towards his mother and Alice, who was seemingly avoiding her house currently. The women give Felix a warm smile as he sets down the bag and pulls out a pen and note pad.

_Hi, uh, miss Terry, can I get Cry's cell number? I have some questions about a game I'm playing. _He writes hastily, sliding the note pad towards Alice. Alice skims the note and smiles lovingly as she looks up to Felix and pushes the pad the teensiest bit to the right so Mary could read it as she replied.

"Sure hun, would you like me to tell you it, or write it down?" She asks slyly. Felix holds out two fingers to indicate he wanted the second one. He holds out the pen with a shakeing hand. Alice takes the pen, slipping a glance to Mary, who was looking at Felix with happy eyes as she writes the number down on the next page. She hands Felix back the note pad with a big grin and he spares the two women a small half-smile, the left corner of his mouth raising whilst the right stay in its natural position. "There y'go, Felix. Have fun with your games."

Felix bows his head in thanks and rushes back to the steps, pulling the bag of chips off the counter with one hand, the note pad in the other. He turns on his Xbox and pops in The Walking Dead before looking at the piece of paper he gripped in his hand. He didn't expect to get the number without more conversation. But he did, gladly. Looking at the white paper, Felix memorizes the number before pulling out his phone and saving the number to his contacts. He'd text Cry after the stream.

The game loads and he lets out a quiet sigh as he hits _continue game._

* * *

Alice grins at Mary, who had tears in her eyes once again, and leans forward, her voice barely a whisper.

"We're getting so far." She says, gripping both of Mary's hands. Mary nods enthusiastically.

"Yeah we are; I hadn't expected this to go so fast." Mary whispers. The women smile and talk a bit before Alice retreats to her home at midnight, hoping to sneak in her room before any of the multiple children in her house noticed and had Cry kick her out.

* * *

The stream had started over two hours ago, leaving a very sleepy Cry to result in drinking anything he had in the house to keep him awake. He had three cans of redbull surrounding him, and he continued to play the games until two.

"Ok guys," Cry says, "I think it's time to start the wind-down hour... so let's move to a calmer game."

The group in his crowded bedroom agrees, their words echoing through each of their headsets.

"Everyone on here's spazzing out, guys, it's hilarious." Minx says tiredly. Cry checks out his chat messages to see Minx was right; tons of don't go's and such were filing in.

"C'mon guys, we aren't leaving yet, we still got a bit." Cry says, a sleepy slur in his voice. The chat explodes again with silent cheers of joy. Cry chuckles, pulling up some fanfiction. "How about we spend the hour reading fanfiction? Guys?"

"Hell yes, but only if I get to help read the first one." Russ says. The rest of the group agrees and Cry finds a fanfic for him and Russ to read.

"Before you guys start, by the way, I'd like to point out how many girls' ovaries are exploding all over the keyboards right now." Minx says, suppressing a giggle. "Like Melody R said 'Omg Cry yessss adsghlgsklhdgl!' Louise said 'yeeeeesssssss plzzzz bby.' And... oh, my friend Gandalf Bengstnn said 'Omg cry ur voice is so hawtt, plz read to us in your Kawaii voice.' Oh my God this is brilliant."

"Wait wait, that last comment actually happened?" Cry chuckles. The name Gandalf Bengstnn seemed familiar, but Cry didn't push his mind too much as he reads through the chat. When he finds it, he laughs his ass off. "Holy shit it is! I thought you were shitting us, Minx!"

"Wait, did this dude literally say 'kawaii voice'? What does kawaii even mean?" Scott says laughing.

"I think it's like anime-talk for hot or something..." Red cuts in, giggling herself as Cry shifts his focus back to the fanfiction, laughing hard.

"Ok. Now that that's done, let's get reading. Russ, I assume you know how to do this and avoid confusion?" Cry says, finally regaining his composure. Russ nods from across the room, but affirms his concent in voice through the mic.

"Hell yes!"

"Then let's read some fanfics!"

**So? You like? Please remember to review lovelies, I love reviews, it keeps me busy, and... Byeee! **


	10. Chapter 10

Cry groans, sitting up and rubbing his head. He hadn't slept a wink after the stream. They'd ended at like four thirty and whilst everyone else fell asleep instantly, scattered across his room, Cry couldn't sleep. A feeling of forgetfullness claimed him as he tried desperately to cling to sleep, but he couldn't for the oddest of reasons.

It wasn't untill he'd made it fully over to Russ' house that he realized; he was supposed to hang out with Felix again. The thought had completely exited his mind, seemingly, as his saturday went off normally. No note from his mother, who must have obviously left to the Kjieilburgs' earlier than the group had gotten up and out of the house. No faint perfumatic scent flitting through the house joyously.

It seemed like a totally normal weekend.

"Shit." Cry mutters to himself. Russ' head shoots up.

"What?" He asks. Scotts head swivels in their direction with interest.

"Nothing," Cry lies, looking at his phone. "I just realized I forgot to call my mom and tell her I'd be spending the night." Scott scoffs at the idea of calling an adult. Never one for rules.

"Call her now, I'm sure she'll let you." Red says from her station near Russ' stereo, where she was flipping through a large stack of cd's.

"I was going to do that, thanks, Captain Obvious," Cry grumbles sarcastically as he moves towards the door. "I'll be outside, hold on."

Silently praying his mother would be angry and force him to come back and hang out with Felix, he dials his moms number. She answers the third ring, but instead of sounding angry she sounded frantic.

"Cry? Honey? Where've you been? I tried calling you a few hours ago and you didn't answer! Then I went to the house and you and your friends were gone! I was worried sick!" Alice sputters through the cells speaker. Cry cringes, remembering listening dully to his phone buzzing at about noon, but he'd been squished between Russ and Snake and didn't want to get up and wake anyone in the process of answering it.

"Sorry mom, I'm over at Russ', it's sunday, remember? After stream night?" He says calmly.

"Oh yeah... but why didn't you answer when I called?"

"I was asleep, what could I do?" Cry lies. "Anyways, can I still sleep over? It's ritual."

Cry crosses his fingers as his mother humms in thought.

"... Fine, but only tonight. No monday night, I know you like to sneak that past me." Alice finally concedes. Cry unhooks his fingers with a grin, forgetting Felix a moment as he fist-pumps the air.

"Thanks mom!" He cheers, nearly hanging up. "..Tell Felix I'll hang out with him tomorrow?"

"Sure sweety, wait a minu-"

Cry hangs up before she could continue, snapping his personal phone shut with a glint of guilt in his eyes behind the mask. He walks in and confirms he could stay nonetheless, a sense of triumph in his voice.

~time skip~

He hadn't slept a wink again. Him, Russ, Snake, and Scott had stayed up all night playing games and drinking redbull and monster again. Again, though, the others fell asleep at three, and Cry was left pondering his thoughts and trying to rid of Ryan, who had shown up to pester him, until the rest of the group awoke so he could leave.

He sighs, running a hand through his messy hair as he switches shirts, only just noticing the poorly bandaged forearm he'd covered up the last couple days. _Great, _Cry mutters internally, _the toilet paper's probably stuck and gross now. _

He unwraps the gauze, which was soaked in the crimson of his own blood, to see he was right; the blood from his cuts had seeped through and matted down the toilet paper, making it soggy as he slowly unwrapped it, carefull not to re-open one of the wounds. Hissing in pain as the cool air hit his forearm, Cry puts more peroxide on it and wraps some new gauze around it as he pulls on a sweatshirt.

_Day four of no sleep is now fully in action._

**Short chapter. Yeah. Sorry. **


	11. Chapter 11

Three weeks Felix had been in Florida. Three weeks he hadn't gone outside. One week Cry didn't talk to him. One week Cry never showed up for his little "sleep session" (-like hell Felix would call it a nap.) And one week Felix pondered going outside and across the street to Cry's house.

Felix's mom wouldn't leave him at the house again, not until Cry decided to show up again. She would drop off his food and pick up his plate like any normal day before they moved, pestering him to get out of the house and meet people. Ugh. He hated it to the point he might've given in if Cry hadn't shown up early the fourth Monday he'd been there, holding his ds in hand.

"Hey." Cry says, sheepishly dropping to the floor next to the bed.

_Haven't seen you in a while. _Felix signs, a grim monotone hinting as his fingers move nimbly to form his words. He was angry.

"Yeah..." Cry rubs his neck awkwardly, ditching the mask on Felix's desk chair. "I had a friend from out of state visiting. I would've introduced you, but I know you don't like people much. Sorry."

The anger files towards the annoyance department.

_Who was visiting? _

"Just a YouTube friend.. Sp00n.." Cry has to clear his throat as his low voice drains of all rest it had gotten the night before. He could tell Felix was upset. "I wanted to hang out with you, but I hadn't seen him in so long, and.." His words trail off.

_You can catch up with friends, I never said you couldn't. Just was bored, that's all. _

A total lie.

"Anyway, have you been sleeping?" Cry asks, switching subject on the blonde. Felix nods, but the soft bags under his blue eyes give him away; he hadn't slept a wink. Cry groans at Felix in aggravation. "You know you have to try, at least, Felix!" Felix wanted to shrink down into a gigantic pit of despair. He new Cry wasn't mad, he just wanted what was best for him, and he wasn't even trying.

_I'm scared. _Felix manages to get out before yawning tiredly. Cry smiles.

"Then get to sleep now." The brunnette says. Felix looks at the clock; it was only nine thirty.

_But it's-_

"I know what time it is. Just trust me, I have something planned for you later, so it's best if you get your rest now." Felix looks at Cry suspiciously, but lays down anyways, closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

~time skip~

Another rest without nightmares. He hadn't been having them since he got to America. And he liked the change it brought to his life. Slowly cracking his eyes open, he finds Cry next to him, on the floor by his bed, playing Mario Cart.

Without thinking, he goes, "What're you doin'?"

The rough, cracked voice startles both boys, and Cry jumps and turns himself towards Felix as the blonde covers his mouth in astonishment. Cry gasps. Felix gasps. They were both in awe. Felix just talked. Shit.

**Ver short. Oh my. What the fuck did I just do? Ah. **


	12. Chapter 12

**I realize now that I put the wrong chapter up. This is what I get for trying to upsate two stories at once. Sorry guys!**

_The rough, cracked voice startles both boys, and Cry jumps and turns himself towards Felix as the blonde covers his mouth in astonishment. Cry gasps. Felix gasps. They were both in awe. Felix just talked. Shit._

"Did you just-" Cry couldn't finish his sentance. Felix nods silently, his eyes popping out of his head. He'd just talked. He'd just talked to Cry. He'd _talked _to _Cry. Fuck. _Needless to say, he was terrified for some reason. Would Cry not like the way he sounded? Would he mispronounce a word and Cry laughed? Cry wouldn't do that. Would he? His mind raced.

There's an unsettling silence until Mary walks in, dressed nicely, with a shy smile on her face. Cry grabs for his mask, hiding behind Felix, who had leaned in front of him, as he pulled it on. There's an awkward silence as Felix and Cry, with rapid-beating hearts, looked to the women with a gaining feeling of guilt and panic building up in their chests.

"Hey boys, sorry if I'm interrupting your video game talk, I just wanted to tell you I'm off to a last minute meeting about returning to work soon; I left some Spaggeti-o's in the pantry in case We get back late." She says. Alice and two other women appear at the door, the two strange women giving sympathetic smiles to the boys before turning their attention to Mary.

"This your son, Mer? He looks a lot bigger than I remember!" A nasal-sounding red-head smiles at Mary, who was bending down to kiss each of the boys' heads. Mary nods.

"I know, isn't he? I think last time you had him over to play with Marzia was when he was five! It's been so long!" Mary says. She points her attention towards Felix. "Say hi to Cherise, Felix; you used to play with her daughter."

Felix waves, causing the other woman, a nice-looking brunnette, to giggle.

"Not much of a man for words, eh, Mary?" She chuckles.

"You don't know the half of it, Linda." Mary says with a sigh. Linda turns toward Cry with a hesitant smile.

"And this must be our littly Ryan, huh, Ally?" She says. Cry cringes internally as Ryan pops up near his shoulder, watching intently the scene unfolded in front of him.

"Actually, he likes Cry now." Alice says, her own weary smile. Awkwardness descends over the room as Ryan chuckles, popping out with a quiet mutter of 'nerd.'

"Well, we should be going now, if you boys need anything just call." Mary says, clapping her hands together. The women were about to exit as Cry stops them.

"Miss K! I- uh, was wondering if- uh, could Felix and I go to a park a few blocks away? I thought he should probably finally get around town." Cry stutters hastily. Mary nods enthusiastically, granting her permission as Felix shoots Cry a secret glare. The four ladies exit the room and trudge down the steps and out of the house, leaving Cry and Felix in a comfortable silence. They listen to Lisa's car speed down the road dangerously fast and the boys both know there was no meeting for Mary to attend.

"So..." Felix just couldn't stop. He had so many words to say. Why couldn't he just shut his mouth again? "I guess- I guess I'm talking again."

His voice was rough, and he had to clear his dry throat a few times to speak properly.

Neither of them cared.

"Yeah.." Cry says uneasily, coughing awkwardly as he saves his game and shuts off his ds.

"Don't tell my mom."

"Wha-"

"She'll make a big deal of it. Plus I _really_ don't wanna talk to her."

There's a soft chuckle as Cry stands up, holding out a hand to help Felix up.

"Ok. Let's go eat before we leave." There's a hint of mischeif in Cry's voice as Felix takes the hand, so comfortable in his own, and pulls himself up.

Felix's voice is even more uneasy. "We're not going to the park, are we?"

"Nope."

**Short again. Sorry. Had to. Loves~**


	13. Chapter 13

**Sorry again to those that accidentally got the wrong chapter yesterday... I've fixed it though! :) Serves me right, trying to work on two stories at once... Oh well, thanks for the PM's and nice reviews anyways, now on to the story! **

Cry chuckles as he watches Felix move unstabily across the thick wooden plank he'd placed over the small creek, his weakened limbs trying to keep up with him hastily.

"We seriously need to get you to the gym." Cry chuckles as Felix finally reaches the other side.

"Yeah, like that'll ever happen." Felix chuckles as well, following Cry as he walks up to a small barn. "Why are we here?"

"Because, this is the perfect place to climb trees." Cry states simply as he swings the door to the barn open. Inside a small family of kittens rush to Cry, purring happily. "But that's not why we're here."

"I- is it legal to be here? Isn't this like... Breaking and entering?" Felix stutters. He pronounces 'here' as 'he-are' and curses himself silently. Damned accents.

Cry chuckles as he strokes a multi-colored calico, causing the cat nuzzles into the palm of Cry's hand more, purring deeply.

"Don't worry, my grandma lives in the house over there, we're fine." Cry points toward a two story house a little farther in the yard. Felix nods, bending down to pet a small tabby nudging at his feet. "My cat, Keiko, just had kittens a while ago and mom won't let me keep them all at the house, so I asked my grandma if I could keep them in here until I found a place for 'em."

"They're cute." Felix says. The two stay in the shed until the sun starts to set, sitting and playing with the kittens, and Felix curses as him and Cry get up to leave. "It took forever to walk here, Cry; it'll be dark by time we get back!"

"No it won't," Cry says deviously, pulling the calico into his arms as he puts the rest of the kittens in their box, covering the sleepy kitties half way with the blanket they'd lain on. Pushing the box lightly away, he hulls a bike out of the shadows, handing it to Felix before pulling another one out. "bike power, bitch."

Felix smiles before swinging a leg over the bike Cry had handed him, pushing himself out towards the grass as he waits for Cry. Cry emerges, holding the calico in one hand, the handle to the bike in the other. Felix gives him a weird look as he closes the barn door.

"I'm taking Pheobe back to my house, she gets too mew-ey when I'm gone for too long." Cry explains as they reach the creek. Both boys hop off the bikes, pushing or pulling the bikes in front of themselfs as they make their way carefully across the narrow piece of wood. They make their way home quicker on bikes, despite the constant clawing at Cry's shoulder blades as a terrified Pheobe hides in his sweatshirt. They stop at Cry's house.

"C-can I come in with you?" Felix stutters as Cry hops off the bike. Felix had been right, they had gotten home at dark; right as the final peek of sun dropped behind the horizon, and Felix hadn't been outside in the dark in a long time.

"Sure." Cry smiles, pulling Pheobe out of his sweatshirt. "Let's go."

Inside was darker than the outside, and Cry fumbles for a lightswitch, flicking on the light and dropping Pheobe to the floor. The cat instantly runs for the litter box sitting in the corner.

"I'm gonna clean up the scratches Pheobe gave me, wanna come up to my room while you wait? It might take a while." Cry says, trudging his way up the steps. Felix nods, following Cry up the steps. Cry takes to a small room at one end of the hall, pointing Felix to the room a little farther away, hoping he didn't open the door to his own bathroom. He was using the hall one to distract himself from the trash can full of bloody gauze and toilet paper, the bloodied porceline of the sink.. Felix didn't need that.

He sets to work on the incisions, some red, some pink, and a few that were bad enough that they'd started bleeding. He pulls out a smaller, fuller, bottle of peroxide and a cotton ball, hissing in pain as he hears his bedroom door close. He wipes them off and puts a bandage over the bleeding ones. Ok, maybe it wasn't _that _long, he'd guessed it would've taken longer, though.

"I must admit, that cat is a little devil; I don't get how you can stand them, those little fiends." The voice startles Cry so much he drops the half-capped bottle of peroxide on the floor, spilling half of it on the floor, soaking his sweatshirt, which he'd lain there whilst he cleaned his cuts. He curses.

"Fuck you, Ryan."

"Now is that any way to talk to yourself?" Ryan chuckles deeply. Cry grimmaces.

"... no.."

"That's what I thought."

Cry pulls a towel off the rack, dropping it on the large puddle forming on the floor and steps on it, pressing it down. He fully caps the bottle before turning towards his duplicate.

"I know you saw what happened with those ladies at Felix's, so go ahead; make fun of me for it now, before I go back to his house." Cry growls. Ryan grins evilly.

"I have a better idea." Ryan appears next to Cry, looking at his arm, in which was now out in the open, before opening a cupboard and feeling around the top, giving a satisfied gasp as he pulls on a strip of tape and a small razor blade plops into his hand. He hears cry whimper.

"Not now, not now..." He mutters to himself, cupping his palms around his elbows, sqeezing his eyes shut and curling into a ball as Ryan siezes his wrist, about to make a slash in it as a knock resonates through the door. Ryan pops out, the blade dropping to the floor hastilly as Cry stands up, gulping as he picks it up and drops it in the toilet.

"Cry?" Felix asks, his rough voice lacing with worry. "It's been ten minutes, are you ok?"

"Y-yeah, just fine. Turns out the cat cut me up more than I though, it made me a bit sick, I'm gonna brush my teeth and get a different shirt, meet me downstairs?" Cry lies.

"O-ok.."

There's shuffling as Felix makes his way down the steps. Cry pulls on his shirt, picking up the wet towel and his sweatshirt as he opens the door, dropping them in the hamper as he made his way to his room. _He stopped Ryan from hurting me... _He thinks, pulling a new sweatshirt over his head. _He's like a super hero... _


	14. Chapter 14

"... Hey Cry?"

"Yeah Felix?"

"... What's it like, being on YouTube?"

Cry sighs; it was saturday morning, just about ten, and Cry was over at Felix's before the stream. Mary and Allison had gone out to breakfast with Cherise and Linda.

"Good I guess." Cry says finally.

"You guess?"

"You just took me back by the question..." Says Cry. "I didn't know you knew about that."

"Well of course I do; I've been subbed since before the accident." Cry can't controll the blush that creeps up his face as he looks down at his twittling thumbs. How'd they start doing that?

"Well.. that's cool. Thanks." There's awkward silence as Cry hops up. "Wanna go check on the cats before I have to stream later?"

Felix nods enthusiastically. He'd grown fond of the little orange tabby he'd petted the first time they visited together. Cry even let him name it; Clemintine. They both obviously liked it.

Cry grabs his backpack, pulling the mask out of it and on to his head as he helps Felix up. They take to Felix's garage, where the two old bikes they'd ridden that day were stored. They hop on and Cry gains a mischeifious smile as they continue the short bike ride to the small countryside and into the barn.

Cry instantly grabs Clemintine out of the box, handing her over to Felix as he opens up the small bottle of milk he'd stashed in the mini fridge he'd hidden there. He pours the milk into a giant bowl and all of the kittens but Clemintine rush for it. Clemintine was nuzzled up into Felix's neck when Cry turned around, and Cry instantly takes out his phone and snaps a picture of it with a grin. The scene was so cute.

"Now, you ready for the suprise?" Cry asks. Felix looks up with a strange gleam in his eyes.

"Suprise?" He looked like a kid in a candy store.

"Yeah." Cry says, smiling at his friends enthusiasm. "You ready to hear it?"

"Yeah!"

"Ok. So I talked to your mom..."

Felix nods.

"...And told her about how close you were to Misha and Clem."

Misha was a black cat with white feet. Cry named her, but Felix loved her anyways.

"... And she said we could take them home today." Cry looks with a smile as Felix nearly jumps out of his skin in happiness.

"You better not be shitting me, Cry!" Felix says as he finally calms down.

"I'm not, I swear!"

"Where're they gonna go to the bathroom?" Felix suggests.

"Your mom bought all the stuff and put it in the downstairs bathroom."

Felix remembers his mother telling him not to go in the bathroom downstairs because she was 'painting.' He laughs at his gullibility. His mom never paints. His gaze rips from Cry's smiling face to Misha, who was drinking from the saucer, as she saunters sassily away from her siblings and towards him.

"And you're not shitting me?"

"I'm not shitting you."

"Is that the reason you wanted to come here?"

"Yep."

"You wanna get back to get ready for stream?"

"Yep."

"Let's go, then."

Felix picks up Misha with one hand, handing her to Cry, as he held tight to Clemintine. They make their way to the plank and cross carefully, hopping on their bikes and driving slowly back towards the bike trail back towards town; careful not to drop the excited, squirmy, kittens.

* * *

~time skip~

Misha and Clem had been ag Felix's for a day and a half already on the rainy monday morning when Cry arrives, carrying Pheobe in his sweatshirt to keep her dry. Mary's car makes its way down the street as she heads off to her first day back at work at the hospital nearby. Apparently she'd worked there before and they were happy to let her back with open arms. It was six am. And Felix was still up on his laptop. Cry, with his own laptop in hand, drops next to the bed, opening it and typing in the password as he watches Felix type madly in his games convo box.

He hears laughter through the headphones, but can't quite identify the distinct giggles right away. Misha nudges at the lump in Cry's sweatshirt and Cry finally remembers he had Pheobe wrapped up in there. He unzips it so the small calico kitty could climb out.

"You be nice to my cat, Misha," Cry scolds as the black-and-white kitten circles the smaller cat. "I know you guys bully her because she's sexier than you."

A soft chuckle emancipates behind Cry and he blushes before turning and seeing Felix was still caught up in his game and wasn't laughing at him. More laughter, this time louder, and more obviously females, comes from the headphones and Cry can finally place the laughter.

"Minx!"

**so? Anyways guys, I need advice; I know I said this would be Pewdiecry, but I'm wondering if I should put Marzia as Felix's love interest instead... She will show up in the story eventually! So I need this. Pewdiecry romance, or bromance? I needs your help with this! **

**~L**


	15. Chapter 15

Of course Cry didn't actually say that; it was more a mischeifous whisper than an excited cry. Cry pulls out his phone, pushing Misha lightly away from Pheobe, and texts Minx.

_Wanna play some ttt later?_ Cry asks.

_Sure. In the middle of a game with some different friends atm, though. _Minx replies. Cry grins evilly, snapping a picture through the dim morning light of Felix. He can see the laptops camcorder button blinking a dim red.

_I know. _He attaches the picture before hitting send. He could hear Minx gasp and swear on the other end of Felix's headphones, then Felix turns his head.

He'd been so engulfed in his game he'd totally forgotten Cry was coming over. He looks over to see Misha hopping playfully on Pheobe, and Cry scolding the kitten playfully, though he couldn't quite hear through his headset as Cry looks up from the cats and smiles at his phone; he was absolutely enjoying every second of this.

_You fuck! You kNOW GanDALf! _

_I prefer calling him by his real name. _

_You shit. Have you got your stuff with you?_

_Just my laptop; headset's over at my house. _

_So you're at Felix's__ house!?_

_Yeah. _

Cry grins as there's more chattering through Felix's headphones. He turns to Felix, only to see he was staring at him. He grins sheepishly at the blonde before turning to his phone, jokingly texting Minx angrilly.

_You fuck. You told him I was here. _

There's laughing again, the game forgotten.

_Go get your headset. New round. Five minutes, get on my server._

Cry sighs, turning to Felix as he dials his mothers number. He tells her to bring him his headset. Then he texts Minx back. Five minutes later his mom brings his headset, slightly ruffled, and goes back home without bothering to look at his demasked face. Yeah. He'd forgotten it upstairs. But she didn't look. So.

"Hey guys." Cry chuckles as he sees who's all playing. Markiplier and Ohmwrecker. And a strangely familiar Gandalf Bengstnn. Cry couldn't quite place the name at the moment, but drops it as his friends reply.

"Hey Cry!" Two voices sound as he logs onto his skype and sends a request to them. Another voice fills the air as the two boys get a video request from Cinnamontoastk.

"Ken!" Cry laughs, clicking accept as he makes sure his part of the call was voice instead of video.

"Hey! Cry, I don't think you've played with us when we played with Gandalf, have you?" Ken asks through the speaker. Cry chuckles.

"No, I haven't, but I have played with him before."

The group accepts it, playing untill about noon in florida time.

~time skip~

Felix grins as he pulls out a can opener.

"You didn't tell me you knew Minxypoo." He jokes. Cry laughs, clutching his side as he slides two cans of chef bouyardy ravioli to Felix.

"Minxypoo?" He laughs. Felix blushes.

"Uh.. yeah.. anyways, I didn't know you knew her."

"I play ttt and stuff with her all the time; I just don't usually record when I do." Cry explains. "She usually puts them on her channel."

"Minx has a YouTube channel too?" Felix asks, exhasperated, as he opens a can. He shoves it back to Cry, who had two bowls out.

"Yeah; RPGMinx. She's all gaming."

Felix smiles, handing Cry the other can as Cry hands him a bowl. They cook their food and eat in semi-silence.

"... Cry?"

"Yeah man?"

"... I think I wanna start doing youtube."

Silence. Contemplation.

"... You should do it; it'd require talking to billions of internet people, though."

"I think I can... do it, maybe."

More silence. The Cry stands, rinsing his bowl in the sink.

"Then tomorrow we're getting you a camara. Got it?"

"Got it."

**Another short one. Aww.. Next chapter is the Creation of PewDiePie. And camara pickups. Yes. **


	16. Chapter 16

~One week after ordering camara off of amazon~

A knock startles the boys as they eat their raviolis. Neither of them had planned a visitor. Quietly and carefully the boys creep towards the door where Misha was mewing and pawing at the door.

"Guard cat." Felix whispers. Cry can't controll his laughter as his friend opens the door. He hides behind a coat.

"Are you... Felix Kjieilburg?" A delivery man asks, holding a small box under his arm. Felix nods enthusiastically. "Here."

He pushes the box into Felix's arms, then hands him a clipboard. Felix signs it and then moves his hands to sign thankyou to the man. He gives him an odd look.

"He said thank you in sign language." Cry yells from behind the coat. The man nods and takes back to his truck. Felix closes the door with a grin, watching as Cry cautiously uncovers his face. Felix grins bigger.

"You coulda come to the door at least." He jokes. Cry laughs.

"Well, did Misha get you tounge, Felix?" Cry jokes right back, jis laughter giving away his mock seriousness. The boys ditch their bowls and rush up the steps. They open the box and pull out the small camara and tripod. They set it up next to the spare mic Cry had borrowed him and boot up his laptop on the desk, and put Iheart radio on on Felix's phone. "Ok, so first you need an account. I reccomend not using a personal account, so you've gotta decide if you want people to know who you're subbed to."

"Probably shouldn't." Felix says. He pulls up youtube and writes down all his old accounts information before logging out and flipping to a different page.

"Ok, quick question. Why is your youtube handle PewDie?"

"Y'know.. like pew pew pew! Die muthafucka!" The boys laughs as they pull up random tabs.

"Ok... well, do you want to keep PewDie in your channel name? You'd have to add to it, or else it wouldn't work, but do you wanna keep it?" Cry looks at the yahoo tab, where he was filling the info out on his laptop.

"Yeah." Felix says.

"Then what do you wanna add?" A Never Shout Never song comes on, replacing the darkened tunes of My Chemical Romance.

Something clicks in his head.

"Pie."

"What?"

"PewDiePie."

"Why pie?"

"... I like pie. And the song that's playing reminded me of it."

"Love Is Our weapon? Seriously dude?" Cry didn't even have to look at the screen to know who was playing through the speakers.

"Yeah. Y'know the part where it's like, 'who woulda thought that a cutiepie just like you would have anything to do with a smelly dude like me'?"

"You mean the entire first line?"

"Yes. I just sorta like the idea of PewDiePie; sounds like cutiepie but isn't."

"Whatever." Cry sighs, typing in the word _PewDiePie _into the email adress code. "Gmail or yahoo?"

"Gmail."

Cry clicks his keyboard and submits the form.

"Your password needs filled in before anything."

He hands Felix the laptop and turns lightly away as Felix types up his password. The form is complete.

"We're lucky nobody had pewdiepie as an email, huh? Some people can be such weirdos."

Cry chuckles.

"Yeah."

Felix logs into his now active email through his computer before switching back to the youtube tab. He fills out the page and agrees to the terms and conditions as he gets a notification that he had an email. _From: / Subject:your YouTube channel is now ready for videos. _

"And we're in buisness."


	17. Chapter 17

Cry had shown Felix the basics of filming and they called Minx to record some stuff. They got some stuff, mostly filled with Minx's happy declarations of hearing Felix speak, and Cry shows him basic editing and video overlap processes. By the time Cry left to go to sleep the video was almost uploaded. He was happy. Extatic, actually.

They both were.

Cry was re-cleaning some fresh cuts when he gets a text from an unknown number.

_Finally uploaded! :) _

He had an idea of who it was.

_Great, Felix! I'm gonna watch_ it.

_Sweet. _

He watches contently, with ease, as he sees his friends work; he was much better at editing than he was when he'd first gotten his channel. Almost as if he were a natural...

_That was great man, ur really good at editing. Maybe I should get you to teach me ;) how'd you get my # anyway?_

Felix blushes at his phone; he'd totally forgotten Cry didn't know he had his number.

_I get around. _

The boys text until each of them had fallen asleep, their phones casting light shadows in their dim rooms as the light fades away into black. Both mothers came home to see their boys sleeping at an actually normal time, sighing with relief and happiness. Their boys were normal; almost.

* * *

The boys were up in Felix's room, doing another ttt round. Then after that they would play portal 2 together. Basically, they were getting as much footage as they could whilst both of their mothers were at work.

"Fuck you Minx! I told you I wasn't the traitor!" Felix yells, causing Cry to laugh, rolling onto the floor, his laptop following suit.

"Shit!" He yells between gasps for air. "It wasn't Minx... i-it was... me.."

It takes his a minute to sit up and catch his breath again, and when he finally got his computer back up right he sees Ken had killed him, the green end screen declaring **innocent win **flashing on the screen.

"Fuck."

"That's what you get, bitch!" Felix laughs.

"Sorry Cry, uh, it just had to be done." Ken says, lowering his voice so it sounded more southern than it previously had been.

"Gahdammit, Ken." Cry gasps behind another loud chuckle. He was sure Felix's mic could detect his laughter from the other side of the room. They end their recordings, Cry helping Felix make sure he'd stopped recording both of his cams, and tab back into skype.

Cry pulls on the mask as he switches to video call.

"Well that was great." Minx smiles, watching Cry's shaking form with enthusiasm. He was still chocking on his laughter even as the recording had ended, as he often did.

"Fucking great." Cry gasps between breaths. "I wish I'd recorded that; I'm at pewds' house, though, and didn't wanna risk it."

"Pewds?" Ken gives the boys an awkward smile, feeling left out.

"Oh yeah, dude, we forgot to tell 'em. You go ahead." Cry tells Felix. Felix gives a nervous look towards Cry, his mind racing as he turns back.

What if they laughed at him? Told him it was a stupid idea that he'd started making vidoes? What if they weren't happy for him like Cry?

"I, uh.. uh.. g-got a y-youtube ch-channel just for gaming." He finally stutters out, ignoring the worried look Cry gave him; he hadn't stuttered once talking to them all day, why had he been now?"

"That's so cool! Does that mean we can do channel coops?!" Minx was the first to reply, leaving Felix to nod assuringly as he waited for Ken to speak.

"Yeah, I'd like that." He mumbles. Ken suddenly looks up, directly at Felix through the camara, with a big grin.

"Me to?"

"Definately."

"What about Cry? Is he doing any coops with you?" Minx asks.

"Only on my channel; he doesn't wanna risk his mom finding out about the whole talking thing by cheaking his channel." Felix sighs, a dim light of something flickering in his eyes. Only minx seems to notice it. Did she just see sadness in his eyes? Longing?

"Oh." She says simply, typing out a private message to Felix.

_When Cry leaves, message me; don't tell him about it. _

Felix scans the message and looks into minx's eyes through the camara as they say their goodbyes, his mind racing. What did Minx want? Was she going to defriend him? Tell him she thought he should quit youtube? No. She looked worried; why had she been worried?

"-Pewds?"

"Wh-what?" He looks up. Cry had been trying to get his attention.

"You ready for some portal before I have to set up for stream?"

He looked at the clock; two fifteen saturday afternoon.

"...how about we do that monday or something? I know how long it takes you to set up and shit." Felix asks. Cry gives a weary look towards Felix, but shuts his laptop and slides his headphones to his neck nonetheless. Picking up Pheobe, whom he'd brought again, and slipping the growing kitten into his sweatshirt, he gives Felix a reassuring smile and pat on the back.

"If there's anything botheting you just text me or something; you can always talk to me, ok? We're friends." He says simply, exiting the door before Felix could even respond. He watches as Cry crosses the street in the relentless rain, which hadn't stopped since the day before, and a faint though crosses his mind before dissapearing back inside his mind.

_But we both know we're more than that, Cry._

**So pewdiecry romance is winning so far; in review section, I mean. I've put up a poll on my profile, so go vote for which one you want;romance or bromance? Though it's going more on romance side right now, I notice. Hmm.. **

**Anyway.. **

**~L**


	18. Chapter 18

_What did u want Minxy? ;)_ Felix, after a lot of contemplation on how to play the next conversation, finally sends his message to Minx; her reply was almost immediate.

Cry.

Felix's face distorts in confusion. Cry. She wanted to talk to him about Cry.

_Cry? What about Cry? _

_Call me. NOW._

So he does.

"You wanted to talk?" He asks quietly, eyes trailing anywhere but the screen.

"Yeah; little bit." Was all she said a moment. "You said you haven't spoken to your mom. Why?"

"Because..." Was all he could suffice for the brunnette.

"There's a reason, Felix, now _tell _me; we _are _friends. I'm worried for you." Felix has to suppress a chuckle as he realizes that was the second time he'd heard _we are friends_ in less than an hour. "_Felix Ar-"_

"Alright, alright, I don't wanna talk to her because she's crazy! She doesn't understand why I even stopped in the first place!" He groans. Minx stares him down. "Now what does this have to do with Cry?"

"I'm getting to that."

"But-"

"I've been friends with Cry a long time, Felix, so I want to remind you of something; ok?"

"Ok..."

"I know what Cry looks like without the mask." She states.

"And...?"

"And, I know you do too."

Felix looked astonished.

"H-how did you know that?"

Minx doesn't skip a beat.

"Because, like I said, I've known him a long time; I know when he's lieing, and when I asked him yesterday if you'd seen him maskless, he said 'no'. But I knew he was lieing. I just needed to get you alone to prove it." There's silence as Felix sizes up his friend. Minx takes the time to stare into Felix's eyes. "I suspect you know about Ryan?"

"Yeah. Only a little though."

"We'll get to that in a minute; back to you."

"What now?"

"Do you like Cry, Felix?"

"W-what?"

"Do you like Cry, Felix?"

"Th-that's crazy!"

"I'll take that as a yes." She says before hanging up. Felix curses, a blush tinting his cheeks.

"Damnit, Minx."

* * *

Cry was almost done cleaning as the clock struck five thirty, and, deciding to take a break, he hops on timblr. He logs on, waiting patiently, texting Russ as his screen loaded. He decides to make a video after searching his tumblr tag, so he hops up to grab his camara, cell phone in hand. A small vibration alerts him to a text.

_If you get a message or something from Minx about me, ignore it; it'll only be awkward later._ It was worrying, getting a text from Felix on stream days; he always left him to his friends.

_Why? Is it bad?_He asks, regretting it as he hit send; obviously it was bad, or he wouldn't have said anything. Shaking off the thought of Felix's confusing text, he picks his camara off of the dresser as the bell rings; he curses himself as he descends the stairs. Everyone was there and he hadn't finished cleaning. _Oh, well, _he thinks to himself tiredly, _Yolo._

**I'm backk! Betch'a you missed my really long, two-a-day updates, huh? I've had a lot of snow days; so there might not be as much of those now the weather's, hopefully, regulating. But I'll try making the chapters longer; promise! Aaannnddd... the poll's leaning defiantly on the romance side, so, keep up votn'! Love you guys, don't forget to review! **

**XxLivxX**


	19. Chapter 19

Cry didn't show up again until a week later; Felix assumed it was because Minx had sent him a message saying he liked him, but it wasn't the case, Felix soon found out, as Cry comes trudging into his room angrily, bandages covering his arms.

"What the fuck happened, bro?" Felix asks immediately as Cry, bags under his eyes, sat on the floor in a huff, sliding the mask off his face.

"Fucking everything!" Cry hisses, fire in his blue eyes. "I got sent to a _mental hospital._ A fucking white, emotionless, _mental hospital._"

"And the bandages?"

"N-nothing. Just precaution." Cry stutters. He starts to pull his sweatshirt he'd left at Felix's on, but Felix stops him, tugging at the bandage for permission. Cry gives an ashamed nod and lets Felix pull off the thin white fabric.

Felix gasps when he sees the scars trailing along his forearm, though the older ones barely visible on his pale skin. There were light pink incisions covering the older ones, criss-crossing over eachother almost covering his arm; Felix had no idea a single limb could be covered in so much pain. The other one was less horrid than the first, but the jagged lines made Felix nauseous, and he had to sit down as Cry re-wrapped his arms and pulled on the sweatshirt.

"My mom won't let me wear long sleeves until the cuts heal up and that'll be another two weeks or so, so I've cancelled stream for a few weeks; I really don't want Red or someone fussing about it." Cry's soft voice comes like a wave of relief, pulling Felix from his horrible thoughts. His eyes were watery as he looked at Cry. He looked like a mess.

"Did you sleep at all?" He asks Cry. "In the mental hospital?"

"No. Not a wink. You?"

"No." Cry makes Felix lay down, softly pushing him to his bed, as he lay down on the floor.

"Then let's both get to sleep."

"But Cry-"

"Don't worry about it; I'm not going anywhere." There's silence, then Felix shifts on the bed, making room for Cry.

"And I'm gonna make sure of it; hop up." He says, patting the spot. Cry sits up, hesitant.

"... You sure? I can sleep on the floor, it's not like I haven't done it before." Cry says. Felix nods.

"Of course I am. Now get up here so we can get to bed." It was only eight in the morning, but Cry wasn't going to object; this was the most comfortable he'd been all week, and he could already feel his body growing heavy as he slid under the blanket next to Felix. He stiffens a moment as he feels Felix wrap an arm around his waist, but relaxes as his eyes close. "Don't worry about it Cry; just precautionary measures." Felix mumbles deeply in Cry's ear before drifting off to sleep. Cry follows suit, ready to face the nightmares that seemingly would plauge his sleep.

* * *

_"Hey Cry." There it was again. Ryan. Cry had just gotten back from Russ's, and was cleaning his cuts in his bathroom when he'd shown up, holding a cell phone that looked similar to his, but the cover was blood red, instead of green; Cry could bet that the cover was painted with his own blood. _

_"Hey Ry." He says simply, turning back to his arm. Ryan had apologized and they were on speaking terms, at least. There's a moment of silence as Ryan scrolls though his phone and Cry puts away the peroxide with a loud sigh. "You seem quiet today."_

_"Just taking the time to look at all the texts you send; you text that kid, what's his name across the street, you text him a lot." Cry looks up in astonishment; he hadn't known Ryan's phone could send messages. "And no, I can't text; your texts just show up on my phone, since we're the same person." _

_"It's like you read my mind..." Cry whispers, sitting on the counter, but he's not suprised; in fact, a tone of sarcasm hinted in his voice. _

_"Yeah, yeah. Like I said, you text what's-his-name a lot." _

_"So?" _

_"Nothing; I've noticed there's a lot of extra winks involved in your messages to him as well. Mind telling me what thay's all about?" Silence. Across the room, Cry was glaring ay Ryan. "Does our little Cry have a crush on his little friend Felix?"_

_"Shut up Ryan, I-"_

_"No, you shut up, homo. I'm gonna say this once and only once, ok? He'll never like you. And don't try and say you don't like him, I'm in your head, I know what you're thinking; I think what you think. We're the same person." More silence. "I'm just trying to help you. You know that."_

_And with that, Ryan dissapears, leaving Cry alone. He pulls something out from under his counter and takes a deep breath, his breathing ragged as he puts it lightly against his skin; this was the first time he'd done it to himself and known he'd done it. Silently, he drags the item, a small razor blade off a pencil sharpener, over his pale skin, breathing becoming harder and harder as he continues, eventually running out of space on his right arm as he moves to ghe left. _

_Blood was gushing out of his wounds, each breaking his big heart, as he becomes nautious; wheather because of all the stress or because of the blood loss, he couldn't tell. Silently, he lays down on the floor, sure he was going to bleed out by time his mom came to check on him, with one thought racing through his mind; I'm hopelessly in-love with one of my best friends and he will never love me back. Fucking great._


	20. Chapter 20

**He he... sorry it's been like a week, guys! And is this a pre-chapter A/N? Well, I just wanted to let you know, that since this is a shorter chapter, I have put a major cliff hanger at the end. You'll probably hate me for rushing this into the story, but... yeah... Read and enjoy, loves, and don't forget to REVIEW down in the box after you're done. Bye loves!**"Cry... Cry!.. Cry!" Felix's soft words awaken Cry from his nightmare, pulling him back to reality. He was in Felix's room, safe and sound, on the fl- he wasn't on the floor. This causes him to blush as he closes his eyes, squinting at the light streaming in through the window.

"Sorry, dude, did I wake you up?" He asks Felix, his voice rough. Felix shakes his head.

"No, I was never asleep; and before you scold me, I know I need to sleep too, but I got _some_ at least this week. You told me you didn't get any and I wanted ro make sure you did. You know what happens shen people are _that _sleep deprived?"

Cry shakes his head, entriuged.

"Their finger nails start to peel off and their hair and teeth fall out." Felix says, his voice filled with disqust and pride at knowing that fact. Cry wrinkles up his nose as a firy light shines in his eyes again.

"Gross." He mutters. "What time is it?"

"Just about six."

"Six?!"

"Yeah. You were really out of it, bro, I've been trying to get you up for like an hour; you're a heavy sleeper when you're in a real bed." The boys chuckle as Cry sits up.

"Weren't we supposed to film some Portal?" Cry asks. Felix nods.

"Yeah, but we can do that later. I just sorta wanna chill out a bit." Felix sighs. Cry nods and they talk a few hours more before Cry has to go home and eat. He slips the sweatshirt off and waves goodbye as he pulls the mask on and carries his laptop out.

"See you later." Cry says.

"Yeah, see you bro!"

Cry leaves, leaving Felix to revel in his thoughs. _He's so adorable... I wish he'd wear short sleeves more. _He thinks to himself, turning on his skype. _And take that mask off for good... wait, when did I start liking him? Was it when he got here, or..? I don't even know when I started liking my crush! Ugh, fail. _

He thinks back to the first day they met. How he'd just slipped the mask off and plopped next to him. Cry must've felt something, for him to trust him like that, and there was no denial that Felix thought he was attractive when he saw his average brown curls, deep blue eyes, and it only deepened when he'd called himself ugly. Cry wasn't ugly. He was far from it to Felix. The fact that he _did _think he was ugly made him even more gorgeous. But then when did he fall for Cry?

* * *

Meanwhile, Cry, speaking of, was in his room, dieing repeatedly in a game of Bloody Trapland as he tried to figure out the same thing. The game was fun, no doubt, but Cry couldn't deny he felt better playing with Felix, their witty banter interrupting silence. There was something about Felix that Cry couldn't place; a sense of knowing. Knowing eachother. They'd been friends for just about two months, and he was talking to Felix, maskless, in the same room as him, sometimes on the same bed, playing video games like normal.

He was confused.

Why, this boy, this broken boy he'd known in so little time, trust him with some of his secrets? Why could he talk to Cry, but not his own mother. Cry groans. He knew why he'd taken his mask off for Felix, but why did Felix speak to him? Why did he care?

Setting aside his worries about why Felix was why he was for a moment, he thinks back to why he liked the blonde boy with a swedish accent. Was it when he saw how broken-hearted he was about that girlm was it when their moms had left them alone for the first time and he held his hand to calm the panick attack? Sure, there were other times other than that, but surely none of them left a click.

It was like they'd met before, and clicked then, but forgotten it when Felix arrived; it wouldn't be a suprise, really. Alice had told Cry Felix had lived in town when he was younger, surely they'd been to a few play-dates together; both her and Mary were nearly inseprable after both of them had dinished their shifts at the hospital.

So they had to have known each other before, right?

* * *

"Mom? Did I know Cry before we moved to Gothenburg?"

Mary nearly choked on her coffee.


	21. Chapter 21

"What, honey?" Mary finally asks, regaining her composure.

"Were Cry and I friends before we moved to Sweden?" Felix asks, agitated.

"Uh, I-I think so... Yeah! You and little Ryan Terry from across the street! I have some pictures around here..." Mary, flustered, and with tears in her eyes, hops up from her chair in the living room and walks over to a shelved closet. Misha and Clemintine follow the two, clawing and biting at their ankles playfully and Felix pulls the two kittens into his arms as Mary holds out two photo albums, tears now streaming down her cheeks. "Here you go, baby, this should be all the pictures we have of you and Cry when you were little."

Felix takes the albums, hugging his mom reassuringly as he walked to the stairs, towards his room. Misha escapes, but Clemintine stays put for the ride happily.

"And mom?" Felix asks as he stops at the foot of the steps. "One more thing; why didn't you tell me? Earlier?"

"I don't know. Alice and I figured you two would eventually figure it out yourself." Mary shrugs. Felix moves swiftly and silently up the stairs, closing his door silently as he opens the first one. The first picture he's me with is a picture of little him and Cry and their moms on a beach. The boys looked just about six or seven then, and had ice cream cones in hand.

_On the counter lay a newspaper. On the newspaper lay a new article; Car Crash Kills Set Of Mothers And Sons, Family And Friends Devastated. _

Felix gasps in remembrance of his first -and only- panic attack, how much fear he'd had, and it all came rushing back as he recognised his picture from the dream. He couldn't breath. He tries to call for his mom, but his throat closes before he could get the words out and his breath hitches every time he finally sucks in air.

Shakily, he maneuvers towards his phone, closing the album as he hits the first key on his phone; Cry's number pops up on the screen, dialing tone sounding through the air.

"Hello? Felix, you ok, man?" Cry asks. Felix sucks in another breath, his head getting foggy from lack of oxygen.

"C-Cry... I th...think I'm having... a... panic at-" He falls unconcious.

"Pewds?.." Cry asks. "Pewds?... Felix, this isn't cool. Are you ok?"

When he gets no reply, Cry hangs up and trudges over to his desk and grabs some stuff before heading over to Felix's, deciding he'd call his mom and tell her later. Quietly, he drops his stuff on the couch and rushes up the steps, grabbing the bag of pills off the counter top.

"Pewds, you al- shit." Cry enters the room to see Felix laying on the floor, shaking uncontrollably, with his phone pressed to his ear. There are photo albums on the floor and Cry pushes them aside as he pulls Felix's head in his lap, muttering comforting things into his ear as he popped a pill into his mouth and forced him to swallow it dry.

A minute later, the shaking nearly stops and Felix has regained conciousness, gasping every so often for air. Cry sit there, kneeling on his knees, petting Felix's hair, whispering softly to him that he would be ok. Which he was, now that Cry was there.

**Another shoooorrrrtttt one, but whatever. I'm sure you all hate me by now, but here it is. I'll shoot for a longer one next time, kay guys? Kay. **

**Review, friends! Love you!**


	22. Chapter 22

After Felix had calmed down, Cry allows him to sit up, but he had him half-sit half-lay in his bed. Cry sat next to him, both boys clinging to each others' arms.

"So what just happened?" Cry asks, interrupting the silence that filled the room as they settled down on the bed.

"I- I had a flashback or something back to when I had that first panic attack, and I- I guess I went into another one." Felix says, only telling half the truth.

"Why did you remember your first one?"

"I don't know."

"Felix..."

"Ok!" Felix sighs. He takes in a breath before continuing. "In my dream that caused my panic attack, it was of the accident; it didn't end there like it usually did, though. I dreamt I was awake, and alone in the house. There was a news paper on the counter. On the paper was a picture..."

"... A picture of what?" Cry asks, entriuged.

"Grab the red album off the floor and look at the first picture." Felix says.

Cry, hesitantly, un-latches himself from Felix and slides to the floor, pulling the red photo album he'd pushed aside earlier into his lap. He opens the picture to see the picture of them at the beach and gives him a curious glance.

"My mom has a picture just like this back at out place; what's so bad about it?" Cry asks hesitantly.

"Because the article was about a car crash. With those people in it; those people were us."

"Wh-"

"We knew each other when we were little." Felix blurts out, covering his mouth. Cry gives him an astonished look, his chin dangling down below him. "I'm not joking, look at the pictures."

Cry looks back to the album, flipping it to the next page cautiously. The boys were still at the beach, eating ice cream, but this time their mothers had stepped aside, leaving the two boys to smile at the camara. Cry gasps as an image flashes through his mind.

_"Mommy, can lixy and I go out to the water?" _

_"Not without Miss Mary or I, no." _

_"Please?" _

_"Ryan, you know Felix isn't a very good swimmer, and you get side-tracked too easily; wait for Mary and I." _

"Woah. I remember that day..." Cry whispers. Felix looks at him.

"You can? I can't."

"I was six, you were turning six, we were out for the day down by the beach. We went and swam without our mom's permission, and..." Cry swallows a nervous breath. "And we nearly drowned."

"What?"

"I-I remember I snuck you away from our moms, towards the water, and we went it. Y-you weren't the best of swimmers, but I was, and I couldn't wait to go in; so I held your arm tight and dragged you in, insistent on teaching you to swim."

_"Come on, Lixy! I won't let you go under!" Little Cry yells, dragging his younger friend by the wrist towards the protruding ocean. "I promise!" _  


_"But Miss Ally said-"_

_"I know what mommy said, Felix, but the girls are taking too long; we could swim by ourselves while we wait!" Cry yells. _

_"But I can't swim!"_

_"I'll teach you!" Cry finally gets Felix to get into the water, wading out towards the deeper water, Cry holding Felix up whilst trying to hold himself up. _

_"Ry-ryan-n do you thi-nk this is a good i-idea?" Felix stutters through coughs as water rushes into his mouth. Cry nods despite himself, kicking his feet rapidly as he continues pulling Felix deeper until neither boy could touch the ground and Cry himself couldn't breath. He tried to swim back, but the waves just churned him around and around, filling his lungs with sickly salt water as fresh tears rolled down his cheeks. His grip on Felix loosens and he looses his grip, the waves flinging the blonde boy towards the beach. _

_He gets tossed around a while until he starts to fall unconscious, his vision rimming with black as something finally happens. Right before he looses all vision, a tall figure is pulling him up and out of the water, Felix in the other arm. _

_"It's ok, sweetie," the figure says. "I'm a life guard, it's ok."_

"Thank God for that life guard." Is all Felix can say as Cry directs his attention towards the next picture; a picture of them and their mothers sitting in a car, two men smiling at them with pride as they eat cookies in a back yard.

"Is that your dad?" Cry asks, pointing to a blonde man with hazel eyes; Felix obviously got his deep blue eyes from his mother. Felix nods.

"And I'd assume that's yours?" He points to a brunette sitting next to Alice, his ocean blue eyes filled with laughter as he smiles for the picture.

"Yeah..." Cry chokes out. Felix remembers hearing about his dad's suicide and feels a sudden pang of guilt.

"Sorry, uh- I'll flip to a different picture." He says softly, turning the page, but Cry was already in panic attack mode.

* * *

_"Honey, could you go get your dad? We have to make it back home before tomorrow." Alice asks, putting her bag into the Terry's SUV. Another trip to the cabin in which Cry enjoyed being inside; the rain had only just stopped for the first time the whole trip. Cry nods, rushing into the cabin they rented in Oklahoma for the last few years. _

_"Dad?" He calls out, searching for his father; he'd yet to see him all day, not even breakfast, so he had no idea where he could be. "Dad?" _

_Cry makes his way hesitantly into the room his parents occupied on their trips to Oklahoma, pushing his way through the heavy wooden door. He'd never been in there by himself, and even when somebody was with him he'd been in only once; he was a pretty independant kid. What he saw next he could probably never un-see. _

_"Dad?" He asks, popping his head in. There, hanging idly from a thick rope dangling from the ceiling fan, was his father. His face a deadly color pale, eyes dead, Cry instantly knew what had happened, but kept silent as he felt his body grow heavy with grief. _

_"Ryan? Honey? Did you find your father?" Alice yells from the top of the stairs. Cry stays silent as he hears his mother come down the stairs. He hears her approach, but makes no effort to move, to tell her not to come in. He just sits there. He sits there as he hears his mother's sorrow-filled cry, her sobbing, her phone call to the police. The police showed up and yet he still stood perfectly still and silent as they came to collect the body. A nice police woman came over and moved him soon enough, though, and he was left to silently cry the entire way back to Florida. _

"Remembering this, now, eh?" Ryan laughs at Cry, who was shaking, tears in his eyes, as he sits down on Felix's desk chair. Cry flinches, his eyes flickering to the empty chair in fear. Felix looks at the chair to see nothing, giving him an odd look as he tries to get Cry to take the pill outstreached in his palm. "I don't even see why you are; it's just a picture, after all."

Ryan laughs as Cry writhes, pulling his head into his knees as he lets out a choked sob. His breathing shortens immensely, causing him to breath in in short spurs between sobbing. Felix had long since gotten the pill and some water into his mouth, but the sobs still wracked his body as Ryan laughed at his pain.

"Pathetic." Ryan growls. "Crying over a picture of your daddy. Need I remind you, he killed himself because of _you. _He couldn't handle having an ugly retard for a son, so he ended it all; he couldn't handle _you._"

"That can't be true..." Cry mutters to himself, tears soaking his shirt. Felix stops rubbing Cry's back to look at him, eyes filled with concern and fear for his friend.

"It is." Ryan shoots back hotly, his breath filled with rage.

"No, it can't be." Cry whispers.

_"Such a handsome boy you have, David."_

_"Sure do, thanks."_

"I've believed you all these years, but it's not true."

_"Doin' great, Ry, next summer, if weather permit, I'll teach you some more about fishing, ok?"_

"All these years..."

_"Night dad." _

_"Night Ry, love you."_

_"...Love you too."_

"It can't be true." Cry whispers. His rocking had stopped, but the shaking continues as more tears roll down his cheeks. "It's not true. Oh, God, it's not true! I'm such an idiot!"

"Wh-what? Why're you an idiot, Cry?" Felix asks. Ryan, with a growing fire in his eyes, pops up behind Felix's shoulder.

"You're not real, Ryan. Neither is 'Sup guy. None of you are." Cry whispers. "My dad loved me. I know he did. He was just going through some stuff he couldn't understand. He loved us."

Felix, who had started recording audio on his phone when Cry started muttering to himself, allows a tear to stream down his cheek as Cry finally falls unconcious, tears still running down his own cheeks. He hits send and lays down again, straightening Cry out on the bed and covering himself and Cry with blankets, allowing himself to drift off to sleep, cradling Cry in his arms.


	23. Chapter 23

"Felix, I got that audio you sent me, was that really Cry?"

"Yes Alice."

"And... He told off Ryan? All by himself?"

"Yeah."

"Do you know what that means?"

"...Cry won't hurt himself any more?"

"Hopefully... I'm really glad you're talking again, Felix."

"So am I, Miss Ally."

"Wait, di-"

Felix hangs up his phone with a sigh, setting it back on his side table as he wraps his arms tighter around Cry. He picks up the photo albums from the floor and looks through them, smiling as memories come flying back.

_"What does it mean to love someone, Ryan?" _

_"...Love means that you'll do anything for the person you love, I guess. I'd fight a dragon for mommy and I love her, so..." _

_"Then I love you, Ry."_

_"I love you too."_

Felix smiles at the memory. He wishes he'd remembered those times when he was upset about Elise. All those nights curled up in bed, sobbing his eyes out, he could've used something to make him smile. Cry could've used that, too. To reminisce instead of slice his wrists.

"...Pewds?" Felix felt Cry's body shift on the mattress, so he could turn and see Felix. Felix closes the second album, which he'd just started, and turns to Cry.

"Yeah Cry?" Felix asks. He doesn't mention Cry's panic attack, but instead hands him a water bottle. Cry takes it thankfully, replenishing his dry throat with a happy sigh.

_"Here you go, Ry." _

_Cry sniffles as Felix hands him a water bottle, sighing contentedly as Felix bandages up his injured knee. _

_"T-thank you Lixy." _

_"No problem, buddy."_

"I missed being your friend."

"I missed being your friend, too."

_"You should really be more careful on your bike, though."_

"Wanna record some portal finally?"

"Sure."

* * *

"Dude, you hungry?"

"Yeah. You?"

"I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't." Cry laughs as Felix stands. "Pizza?"

"Pizza." Felix helps Cry up and they take to the garage, grabbing their bikes as they get ready to go to the grocery store. "...I feel like I'm forgetting something..."

"Yeah, me too." Felix says. They sit a moment before Cry just shrugs, pushing himself out of the garage and out into the icy rain pouring outside. Felix follows, and they head off to the store.

"That'll be four ninety-five, please." The cashier says, flipping a piece of blonde and brown hair over her shoulder flirtatiously. Cry nods, sifting through his pockets for change. "You new in town? I haven't seen you around."

"Uh-" Then it hits him. He pulls a shaking hand to his bare face before quickly dropping it. "N-no. I've lived here a while, I-I just don't get out much."

The girl nods as Cry hands her the correct change.

"I see; what's your name? Maybe I'll see you around school?"

"...Ryan."

"Well, I'll have to meet up with you or something. You seem like a nice guy." She hands Cry his bag and turns to Felix, who had his own party pizza box in his hands.

"Ready to go?" Felix asks, approaching Cry, who was waiting by the door for him.

"Yeah." Cry says, turning.

"Bye Ryan!" The cashier says, waving lightly. "Bye Felix!"

Felix and Cry blush madly as they turn to wave.

"Bye Rave." Cry says mischievously, turning back as he and Felix make their way back to their bikes.

"Rave?" Felix questions.

"Her name's Raven, actually; a friend of the crews'." Cry says nonchalantly. Felix nods, already knowing 'crew' meant the late night gang.

"And she didn't recognise the- Holy shit, you're not wearing your mask!"

"Yeah." They stay silent as they ride to Felix's house in silence. Cry's phone rings nearly half way there and they stop to answer. "Hello?"

"Hey Cry, honey, Mary and I'll be at the hospital, there's been an emergency and all staff's been called in. I've no idea when we'll be back, so please stay over with Felix? I'm sure Mary would appreciate it." Alice says through the phone's speakers.

"Sure. Felix and I just went to get supper anyways, I'll just grab my mic and stuff, I guess." Cry says. "What kind of emergency was it, mind I ask?"

Alice hesitates, almost sensing Cry had her on speaker phone.

"... A car accident. That's all I know; oh, I'm at the hospital, baby, gotta go. Love you sweety."

"Love you too, mom." Alice hangs up and Cry looks at Felix, who had a solemn look on his face, and pats his shoulder, giving it a squeeze. Felix can't hell but look at the scars that trace his arms as he retracts and they start towards their houses again.

"I'm gonna grab my mic and stuff so we can record stuff together, 'kay?" Cry asks, dropping his bike on it's side as he hops on his porch.

"'Kay." Felix says. Cry enters and exits a minute later, holding a microphone and a camara cord. "...I thought you didn't want to record with me in your videos?"

"I figured since you were talking on the phone earlier, you weren't afraid of your mom finding out any more." Cry says with a shrug. A lump in his shirt mews and Felix had to stifle a chuckle as Pheobe pops her head out of the sweatshirt he'd stolen from Felix's house.

"Y-you heard that?" Felix asks, face flushing pink.

"Yeah;and I'll stop hurting myself."

"Promise?" Felix asks, holding out his pinky.

"Promise." Cry locks their pinkys and they stay like that as they make their way up Felix's steps and into the house.

**Hey guys! **

****WARNING! THE NEXT PARAGRAPH IS MEANT FOR HOUSE OF ANUBIS FANS ONLY. SKIP TO THE NEXT PARAGRAPH IF YOU ARE NOT**Just a little message to any House Of Anubis fans out there, I have a story up for adoption called Silent, But Not On Mute and I'm looking for a nice home for it. It's like a baby to me. So, if you want to adopt it, or know someone who might want to, PM me? I'd really appreciate it, sorry for putting this at the foot of your story...**

**Anyways, hope you guys liked it! Emotions! **

**Bye!**


	24. Chapter 24

The accident Alice had mentioned earlier was on the news that night. The boys started to watch it as they got into detail. Felix was curled up in his bed, grimacing. Cry looks up from his ds.

"You alright?" Cry asks. Felix nods, faking a smile.

"Yeah." He says, despite the fact that his chest was tight around him. Cry sees right through it.

"I'm sure those people are ok." Cry says softly, moving up to the bed and rubbing Felix's shoulders, side-hugging the blonde boy with a gentle touch.

"It was a ten car pile-up, Cry, do you really think _everybody _made it out alive?" Felix snaps. Cry gives Felix a look of astonishment, surprised that he was being hostile towards him. Hurt replaces astonishment, but Cry tries to cover it the best he could. He stays silent, as if not to let the tears fall. Felix sees the hurt in Cry's eyes and instantly softens up, unhooking his arms from his knees to hug Cry tight. "Sorry. I didn't mean to snap; cars are just a touchy subject, I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize, bud. I can see where you're coming at; it's horrible, having to think about that stuff." Cry says softly. The two reluctantly part and lay down next to each other, not speaking. The silence calms Felix down as he focuses on Cry's steady breathing next to him. The sun sets and Felix notices he'd forgotten to turn on the lights again, they'd been so engrossed in their games they hadn't thought of the need to see around the already dim room.

The light from the street light outside, peeking out from behind the dark blue curtains, is the only thing illuminating the room as Felix turns toward Cry. He sees the sup mask lodged between the closet doors, where Cry had tossed it like a frisby when he'd arrived. Cry looks at it as well, propping himself up on his elbow like Felix was.

"You think you could keep that here from now on?" Cry asks quietly. Felix looks Cry dead in the eye, fear and pride welling up in his slowly loosening chest.

"You don't wanna wear it any more?" He asks, hopeful. Cry shakes his head.

"I'm gonna ask mom to call me Ryan again, too." Cry says. A look of longing fills Felix's eyes. He'd gotten used to 'Cry'. The face he saw every day, the one he'd fallen in love with, whether he liked to admit it or not, was always Cry. Cry; not Ryan. Seeing the look of disdain on Felix's face, he adds, "But you and the crew can call me Cry; always."

Felix relaxes.

"You know, I'm proud of you for what you said earlier. Standing up to Ryan." Felix says softly. Cry chuckles.

"Thanks. It took me a long time to figure out the truth, but it's finally out." Cry whispers. They snuggle closer as the wind outside whips around, thunder booming in the distance. And they drift off to sleep, despite it only being eight o'clock, listening to each other's heart beat.

* * *

A loud bang awakens Cry and he sits up cautiously, wondering where he was a moment. He was in a bed, but instead of his body being pressed against a cold, hard, wall, like usual, he was against something warm, and firm. It takes him a moment to remember he was sleeping in the same bed as Felix; when it does hit him, however, he feels almost giddy. As if someone told him unexpectedly it was his birthday.

The joy quickly replaces with awkwardness as he realizes he's been staring too long, as he sees another pair of blue eyes staring back at him through the darkness.

"Sorry, I uh-"

"It's good." Felix trips on his words as he tries to reassure Cry he wasn't angry. He was fine with it. He'd gotten his own good look at Cry whilst the brunette was day dreaming.

"Sorry..." Cry says again, looking at the blue and grey covers on Felix's bed, of which neither boys were covered in. The rain pours down heavier than before, and the dark pulls around them as another clap of thunder sounds. A flash of lightning follows, illuminating the room a second before leaving the two boys in darkness. Cry hears Felix whimper despite himself and they both reposition themselves so they're under the covers. "You scared?"

"N-no." Felix tries to scoff at Cry, failing as his words falter. "You?"

More thunder, lighter, but still as demanding as the last clap.

"A little." Cry says, though he's lieing. He'd grown up in storms. Hurricanes, floods, thunder, he could handle it; Felix, probably not.

"W-well... I might've lied about b-being s-scared." Felix stutters into the sheets. Cry can't help it; he lets out a chuckle, but catches himself quickly.

"Sorry. I shouldn't be making fun of you." He says calmingly. His voice seemed more rugged than before, and it takes Felix a moment to realize why; he was using his Cry Reads voice. Under the blankets, which he'd pulled past his chin and over his nose, Felix smiles. Lightning flashes. He cowers into the blanket more, pulling it fully over his head, body shaking. He hears Cry move, and assumes it's to get up and move to the floor or move to the couch downstairs, so he lets the sob he'd been holding finally release itself.

As he does so, though, a strong arm slips under his torso, squeezing Felix against a warm body. He uncovers his head to see Cry looking up at him. Despite his height, he held Felix strongly, but not enough to hurt his marred wrists. Felix smiles. He can't help it. Cry gives him a curious look as he sits up, slipping off his shirt before tossing it to the floor and laying down again, but he holds tight to Felix's torso as they settle down again.

"It's late, we should probably get some rest." Cry says tiredly.

"That's kinda why I took off my shirt, Cry." Felix chuckles, turning lightly to Cry, but they both knew there was more to that than tiredness -they had to, right?

Cry blushes at the thought of thinking any other reason to why Felix would have his shirt off and moves his gaze anywhere but Felix, tracing the pattern of the comforter absent-mindedly where Felix's bare chest lay under.

Cry falls asleep first, mid-tracing a circle on the blanket, leaving Felix awake, wanting to talk more as the thunder booms outside, the storm raging. Instead, Felix stays awake until four a.m., his mind pondering thoughts as quickly as the lightning struck outside his window.


	25. Chapter 25

Two days later and Felix and Cry were finally getting some sun, the rain that seemed to pour down the last couple days letting off, though the forecast called for more rain the next day. So the boys took advantage of the weather and took off to the beach, assuming it would be empty; the rain may have stopped, but the weather was still chilly.

Cry laughs as Russ tosses a football at Red, nearly hitting her in the face; yes, the Crew had finally gotten in touch with Cry, but only Red and Russ were with the two at the moment.

"Hey Cry, so Raven called yesterday, said someone who sounded familiar named Ryan came into the store with Felix. He called her Rave. Was that you?" Red asks as she tosses the football into the water, nearly fifteen yards away.

"Yeah." Cry says as Russ rushes off to grab the ball before it floated out farther than it already was. Though he'd kept the mask today, Cry wasn't going to deny ever having it off. Red gives him an astonished look, but doesn't question, so they keep walking. Russ appears next to them a few minutes later, soaked to his knees, football in hand. Felix trails behind the three, hesitant; he'd never actually met the Crew in person, only Skype calls with Cry.

"Red and I'll be down there a bit, just call us when you guys are ready to do something." He hears Russ say before him and Red are off towards a gazebo a bit off the pier. It was just him and Cry now.

"Why so quiet, bro?" Cry asks, slapping a hand on Felix's shoulder. Felix shrugs, causing Cry to drag him to the ground, sitting criss-cross apple sauce in the sand. "You don't have to worry about Russ making fun of you, Felix; we went over this, he doesn't care about your accent."

"It's not that, Cry, I-" Felix starts, but stops when he realized why he really didn't want to hang out with the both in the same area. He was jealous. Jealous of the jokes and play-fighting the two did when they were together. It reminded him he wasn't the first friend, and certainly not the best friend, Cry had. "Never mind, you're right."

Felix looks at Cry, defeated.

Cry puts an arm around Felix, side-hugging him, before standing up and offering a hand to pull Felix up. Felix gladly takes it, brushing sand off his jeans.

"You'll be fine. They like you." Cry whispers into his ear, still holding his hand then he drops it and they start walking over to Red and Russ. "...Race you."

"You're on."

They run.

~time lapse~

"This was fun." Red says, slipping her hand into Russ's. Cry smiles, shuddering lightly as a gust of wind blows against his face. The mask had finally made it to the backpack he carried on his shoulders. Red and Russ had worn sweatshirts, and Felix had one on as well, but his two weeks weren't up just yet. "Like a double date almost."

"Yeah. Only Felix and I aren't dating." Cry says, shivering as he tried to push himself farther into the sand. Felix sees Cry shivering and, ignoring the hurt welling up inside him, slides off his sweatshirt to reveal a long-sleeved shirt under it.

"You cold?" He asks, yet he knew the answer as he held out the sweatshirt.

"Yeah, but you'll be if I take your sweatshirt." Cry says, trying to let Felix know he was fine.

"I have a long sleeve shirt, Cry. And this is your sweater anyways." Felix chuckles. Cry looks at Felix's sleeves and then pulls the sweatshirt from Felix and over his shivering body, warming his arms sweetly.

"Thanks." He says quietly. Thunder rumbles in the distance a half an hour later, startling the two couples. Cry could see Felix cringe in the darkness.

"I thought the news said the rain wasn't supposed to start until one am!" Red yells standing up. Cry checks his phone.

"That's true; but it's one thirty a.m.." He says. He again holds his hand out to help Felix up, and Red helps Russ up as they start to leave, cursing as light rain starts hitting their faces.

"Who's house're you two going to?" Russ asks.

"Mine," Felix says, folding his arms to stay warm. Cry absentmindedly folds an arm over Felix, instantly sending warmth through his body. "My mom took a night shift today."

"Ok, we're going to Red's, her mom's probably passed out in the basement, so it'll be easy to sneak in." Russ says. "We'll send you a Skype request when we get there."

"Kay."

* * *

"Wanna just go to sleep?" Cry asks, falling onto Felix's bed heavily.

"Yeah..." Felix says, hiding a yawn. He slides his shirt off again and Cry slides off the sweatshirt Felix borrowed him, and they lay down again. Felix was no longer scared that Cry would run off, but neither boy made a move to push him back to the floor, and honestly, he liked Cry up there with him.

"Night." He says, laying down. Thunder rumbles again and he can't stop the light whimper that comes out of his mouth. A strong hand wraps around his torso and he knows he'll be alright. Cry was there, and stronger than he's been in a long time.

**So a useless fun chapter. I really didn't know where I was going almost the entire time. Not to mention it's only like nine hundered words. Like, am I even trying? Anyways, review loves! Bye!**


	26. Chapter 26

** So I went back through the entire story to see where all the time skips and stuff were and I figured with all the awkward time skips, we're just about the first week of July if we'd started the first day of June. So we still have like just under two months yet 'till summer ends in Smile again, which is where I plan on ending the story. There will be a sequel up, as like, a school-themed aftermath sorta story, so don't worry; you'll get a bit more action. Just figured I'd tell you guys. Here you go; chapter twenty-six:**

"Felix, c'mon, time to head up to the school."

"School doesn't start again until september, mother." Felix groans, standing from his desk. He shuts off his camara and unplugs his mic, stuffing them all in his desk drawer before Mary could enter.

"I know, but we need to enroll you, and get you caught up; you missed a lot of work after... Y'know." Mary says. Felix sighs, but walks to the door either way. "Cry's going there with us, too."

Felix instantly perks up, a smile spreading across his face as he walks out to see Cry and Alice waiting for him. He and Cry bump fists and rush off to grab their bikes, their mothers smiling as they followed behind. The school was only a few blocks away, so they get there in a few, and drop their bikes on the ground by the door.

"You happy to have Cry going to school like the others?" Mary asks quietly as the two women enter the school's main office, but she didn't need to ask; she knew Alice was elated that Cry had started wandering the house without a mask on. That her baby was talking to her more. She nods. The lady at the desk looks up, a smile spreading across her face as she sees the boys standing awkwardly at the door.

"Hi, how may I help you?" She asks, shifting hair over her shoulder. Her eyes move sneakily towards the women's ring fingers to see there was nothing on them. Both had moved their wedding rings to chains dangling on their necks. Cry notices the sneaky shift and stifles a laugh, pointing it out to Felix.

"I'm Alice Terry, and this is Mary Kjieilburg, we're here to enroll our sons here." Alice says, pausing before speaking again. "Well, I'm technically re-enrolling."

"Ok," The woman, whose name plate read Janine, says sweetly, opening a cupboard and pulling out two clipboards and pens, handing them to the two women. Cry notices she makes it obvious to brush her fingers against Alice's. "Just fill out these forms, I'll page the principle. Both boys have their shots?"

"Yes." Alice quickly lies, turning towards a set of chairs; neither boy had gotten a shot in forever.

Cry and Felix slip off, stifling laughter as they made it to the bathroom, where they fall to the floor in laughter.

"Oh my God, did you see how she pushed her boobs out when our moms came in, dude?!" Cry gasps between laughs, clutching his side. He laughs some more, causing Felix to laugh harder at how contagious Cry's laughter was.

"She all but stripped down to her bra trying to get one of them to make a move!" Felix says, trying to stand again, but his laughter shakes his body and he falls down again, landing on Cry. Cry's body shakes with laughter as he shoves Felix off with a light pink tracing a blush on his cheeks. Their laughter dies down, and Cry helps Felix up, gripping his hand lightly as the door opens. Cry drops Felix's hand as he sees who was entering, giving a sympathetic look towards Felix before rushing up to the person, clapping a hand against his back.

"Jundus!" He smiles, giving Jund a shove. "What're you doin' here?"

Jund look up at Cry, his eyes looking confused for a moment before fixing into a gleeful smile that showed at his lips. He pushes Cry back, grabbing him in a headlock and giving him a noogy. A dopey grin was plastered on either boys face as Felix watched from the corner.

"What am I doin' here, what're you doin' here?! So good to be able to noogy you again, man!" Jund says, loosening his grip on Cry. "I got summer school."

"Shoulda known." Cry chuckles. Jund's eyes shift from Cry to Felix, who stood awkwardly by the mirror occupying a sliver of the wall.

"This Felix?" Jund asks, looking Felix up and down. Cry nods and Jund smiles widely, walking up and clapping Felix on the back, fist-bumping the blonde boy. "Nice to finally meet you in person, PewDiePie!"

Felix chuckles, allowing Jund to grab both boys by their shoulders and shaking them lightly.

"My little Cryaotic knows how to pick his men, too; _damn, _son! I'm almost jealous." Jund says. Cry and Felix chuckle, a blush evident on their cheeks, as a beeping signals Jund getting a text. "Oh, gotta go; Snakes here, we're sneakin' out."

"Summer school doesn't end for another two hours, I thought?" Cry asks, opening the door in confusion.

"It doesn't." Jund says simply, stepping out. Felix and Cry follow, looking out the main hall's window to see Snake leaning against a dark blue pickup truck, hands folded nonchalantly. "But do I ever show up to regular class?"

"How would I fucking know?" Cry chuckles playfully, shoving Jund forward. "I was always in the disable wing, 'member?"

"Oh yeah." Jund says, laughing. He pushes the door open. "See ya!"

He was almost out as the principal exits his office, a stern look on her face.

"Scott Jund, I do believe the summer education classes are the other direction." She says. Jund laughs.

"Which is why I'm going the other way." Jund yells before hopping fully out the door and into Snakes pickup. Cry and Felix try and fail at suppressing their laughter as Jund and Snake take off, Jund secretly slipping the old principal the middle finger. She just glares at the boys and motions them into the office. They follow, clutching each other for support as they follow the elder woman into the main office.

"Mark mister Scott Jund absent on the summer school attendance sheets." She says calmly to Janine before motioning for both the boys' mothers to follow her into her office.

"Yes Miss Lester." Janine replies, turning her head to her computer (not before waving flirtatiously at Alice and making the 'call me' signal with her hands) to do just that. Felix and Cry take the spots their mothers had just occupied, stifling laughter as their mothers went into Ms. Lester's office.

* * *

~/~

"Dude, that was fucking boring." Felix groans, flopping onto his bed. Cry only grunts in response, annoyance flitting in his eyes as he sat.

"Yeah. That secretary was getting a little creepy with all her flirting, too." Cry rubs his arms, listening as two cars pull out of the driveways outside. Both of their mothers were out to the hospital again; the roads have been so slick, another pile-up on the road heading out-of-town happened while they were at the school. The rain had started yet again. "Dude, it's like really rainy outside."

"Yeah. Is it always like this in Florida?" Felix asks. Cry grins at the question, shaking his head.

"Not _this _bad; usually there's a few good rainy days, but it's been like two weeks straight." Cry sighs, listening to the faint sound of thunder in the background. He quickly hops up next to Felix, knowing the slightly younger boy was going to be screaming like a little girl in a few minutes. He doesn't even think about it as he slips his arm around Felix and locking a hand in his as he does it.

"Dude, what're y-" Felix starts, but is cut off by a loud crack of thunder and lightning cutting across the sky. He instantly shrinks down, letting out a light whimper; this was probably going to be a worse storm than the others. Cry just hushes him, letting his fingers rub light circles into the back of Felix's hand, whispering he'll be alright. Felix instantly relaxes his muscles, listening to Cry's voice as it spoke softly and kindly to him. He felt safe.

"You alright now?" Cry asks softly a few moments later. The thunder was much calmer than the first time, and now the rain was pouring harder, so Cry had to raise his voice louder than the whisper he'd been using. Felix only nods his head, trying to stop the tears that threatened to spill. Something warm presses to Felix's head and he's surprised to see Cry had kissed his head in attempt to comfort him. It honestly surprised Cry that he'd done it.

"...Cry?" Felix finally finds his voice.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"Just... Everything."

"Well... Thank _you _for everything."


	27. Chapter 27

** Hey guys, so I haven't updated in, like, a week, and I feel really bad. So, to make up for it, I'll try to give you some... stuff... enjoy.**

Felix awakens to giggling and a camara shudder going off. When he opens his eyes he sees his door shut and two figures escaping the room. The room was still dark and the dim red letters on the digital clock read 3:19 a.m.. Cry shifts next to him and her realizes they were still holding each other tight.

"I-I think our moms are back." Cry whispers, rubbing his eyes with his free hand. Thunder rumbles outside and Felix's grip on Cry's hand tightens.

"Ugh, it's still raining?" He groans.

"I guess." Cry says. "You heard that giggling too, right?"

"Yeah... You heard my mom's Polaroid go off too, right?"

"I was wondering what that was... why did they have a Polaroid, anyway?" Cry asks. Felix just shrugs, pulling the blankets up as they slipped off of them.

"I don't kn- oh..." Felix starts, but stops as it hits him. His eyes trail to his bare chest and the arms wrapped protectively around him. Cry's own eyes follow Felix's eyes as he too realizes why their mothers had the camara out.

"Oh... yeah..." He blushes, but keeps his hold on Felix steady, making sure Felix could tell he was fine with holding him still if he was.

Felix let's go of Cry's hand and starts to move, causing Cry's heart to drop, but he only turns towards Cry, his arms surrounding Cry's neck. Cry blushes more, heart jumping up to his throat as he smiles at Felix.

"Should we go steal the picture and burn it?" Felix suggests, laughing lightly as a sign he was joking; even if he got his hands on the picture, he wouldn't burn it, he already knew that. Cry laughs too, hugging Felix so close his face rested in the crook of Felix's neck as another rumble of thunder sounds outside, a lightning flash making itself present outside the crack in Felix's curtains. He laughs as Felix shrinks down a bit, trying to hide his fear, and ruffles his hair before sitting up.

"No, but I do think we should say hi to our mothers before they have to get back to the hospital; I heard Mary say they both picked up the five O'clock shifts today." Cry says. He offers Felix a hand and pulls him up, holding it lightly unlike when he'd helped Felix up in the bathroom at school, and pulls him towards the door.

"Mornin' boys!" Mary chirps, smiling at their entwined hands. Felix drops Cry's hand, wiping his own hand on his sweatpants. Cry feels his own cheeks heat up and lets his eyes trail to the mask he'd forced Felix to keep at his house hanging by the strings in the open closet behind the two women in the kitchen.

"Hi Mary, hi mom." Cry says, still not looking at the women.

"Hey." Felix coughs. Mary grins at the boys again as a light beep fills the silent air. Their eyes divert to the coffee maker on the counter.

"Want some coffee?" Alice asks, standing and pulling out mugs. The boys nod as Mary pulls the coffee pot off the small platform. Mary pours the coffee and puts the pot down, grabbing her mug from Alice gingerly. The boys lean against the counter as both mothers sat in chairs at the table, their shoulders stiff.

"You boys seem a little... stiff, tonight. You feeling alright, Felix?" Alice asks, aware of Felix's fear of storms. Thunder rolls outside as Felix nods, cringing, and the warmth of Cry's hand in his returns, unhesitantly, as his face returns to normal. His eyes trail to Cry, who seemingly didn't even notice he'd grabbed his hand, as he sipped his coffee.

"Peachy." Felix grunts. He sips his own coffee hastily, trying to hide the blush that crept up his cheeks, turning them a light shade of crimson.

"Ry?"

"Hmm?"

"How are you feeling today?"

"Glad they invented coffee."

Cry yawns, putting his cup down to cover his mouth with his hand, not letting go of Felix's. Mary seizes the polaroid, which hung loosely on her neck, and snaps two pictures, shaking them as they came out of the cartridge. Alice smiles at the boys' astonished looks as she takes one and stashes it in a small album they hadn't noticed laying on the table before. It seemingly held pictures of both boys, pressumably doing something cute, as Cry finally realizes he was holding Felix's hand. Blush on his cheeks, he starts to pull his hand back, but Felix's thumb rubs knowing circles in his hand and he stops, letting his arm go loose again.

"Wouldn't you be." Alice scoffs, pretending nothing happened as Mary puts her picture in another album similar to Alice's. Cry just picks up his coffee again, downing it and dropping Felix's hand a moment to rinse his cup in the sink.

"I'm going back to sleep. See you guys when you get back from work." Cry grumbles, heading towards the steps. He turns to Felix. "See you in a few."

Cry shuffles up the steps, leaving Felix alone with his mother and Alice. Both women give Felix a knowing look.

"Son, I've always known you and Ryan had something special," Mary starts, looking into Felix's eyes as the iron color hardened into a light glare. "Which, your father wasn't very approveing of. He was very homophobic, and that's why we moved to Sweden. He thought you could change. He was glad when you met Elise, and told him you liked her. I was not."

"Where are you going with this, mom?" Felix asks, his voice cracking as he spoke, memories of Elise flooding with memories of him and Cry together as kids hit him like a tidalwave. He could feel his breath hitch as he wanted nothing more but to be back upstairs, wrapped up in Cry's arms.

"No where. I just want you to know, if you like Ryan _that way, _I'm fine with it; and Alice is, too." Mary says.

Thunder rumbles again outside, but Felix feels nothing as a stray memory hits him like a brick.

_"He can't be like that, though, Marylynn, he needs a wife! You hear me? A wife! No son of mine's going to feel that way about another boy!"_

More thunder rumbles outside, Felix's breath hitches again, this time not finding it's regular pattern. He struggles to breath as he sees lightning through the large picture window in the living room next door.

"Felix?" Mary asks. No reply. Just gasps for air and a shuffling noise as Alice stands, taking the mug from Felix's shaking hands and guides him to the couch. Mary follows behind, tears forming in her eyes as Alice lay Felix down, whispering in his ear. Mary moves to close the blinds, closing off any signs of lighning from her son's sight.

"It's alright, Felix, it's me, Alice, and your mom's right there, ok?" Alice whispers softly, but Felix is far from soothed, knowing it wasn't Cry trying to help him; he'd never ad a panic attack without Cry by his side. Alice moves to wipe some hair from Felix's eyes as thunder rumbles again and he pushes himself farther into the cussions, closing his eyes tighter and breathing faster. "Felix?"

"Felix, honey, talk to Alice." Maty says softly, turning towards them. Felix just shakes his head. He wanted Cry to help him. He needed Cry to help him. Cry was the only one.

Slowly, between breaths, he finally gasps out one word.

"Cry."


	28. Chapter 28

_"Cry."_ Felix repeats, gasping lightly. His lungs were contracting quickly and he felt sick to his stomach as Alice jumped up, moving quickly and swiftly as a nurse should, towards the steps.

"I'll get him, Mary, stay with Felix and try to calm his breathing." Alice yells calmly, moving up the steps quickly, leaving Mary and Felix behind. She walks into the room without knocking to see Cry playing his ds. Cry looks up at the scared look in his mothers eyes and sits up.

"Mom? What's wrong?" He asks, fear trickling in his voice.

"Felix. Panic attack. He's asking for you." Alice says quickly, flipping on the lights. Cry's eyes instantly widen as he hops right up, grabbing a bottle of pills from his bag as he rushed ahead of his mother.

"What did you guys say to him?" Cry asks as he hops off the last step, rushing towards the couch. At the sound of Cry's voice, Felix instantly becomes less tense, letting his hand relax as Cry grabs hold of it. Cry pushes Felix's blonde hair out of his eyes, shushing him. The feeling of Cry's hand in his, and the fact that Mary and Alice were watching makes Felix's heart flutter and he gasps for air again, though he doesn't pull his hand away. Just squeezes it tighter as another memory floods his vision.

_"Son, when you grow up, you're gonna get yourself a nice woman and you're gonna treat her right, understood?" Felix's father, Marc, was looking at four-year-old Felix sternly, a knowing look in his eyes, though Felix's innocent ones look up._

_"Of course!" Felix chirped. "She'll be my princess, and I'll cook for her, and she'll be the prettiest girl ever; she'll have pretty eyes like Ryan's and blue hair just like it, and she'll be short and pretty." Little Felix saw the scowl on his fathers face turn into a grimace as he hears Felix compliment his friend on his eyes, glaring heatedly into his sons eyes. _

_"Be rational, Felix, a pretty girl doesn't have to have blue eyes and hair to be pretty." Marc says. _

_"I know; mommy has blue eyes and _brown _hair, and she's still pretty." _

_"But girls don't need to have blue eyes to be pretty, either."_

_"I know, dad, I just think my wife would look pretty with blue eyes like Rya-"_

_A stinging feeling fills Felix's whole face as Marc's hand extends out and swings at the young boy's face. Marc instantly regretted it as Felix cupped his left cheek, whimpering as a loud cracking noise echoes throughout the room. Tears flung out of his son's eyes as he got up from where he played at the floor, rushing towards his bedroom as a sob escaped his lips already._

_"Felix, I'm sorry!" Marc called, but Felix had already closed and blocked the door._

"Felix, c'mon." Cry mutters, holding out the pill in his hand. Felix was unresponsive as Cry tried to shake him out of his daze. His gasping had slowed, but he was still breathing rapidly and he was staring off into space, flinching if anyone tried to get near his face.

"Felix..." Mary sighs, turning away from the scene. Alice rubs Mary's back.

"What did you two _exactly _say to him?" Cry groans in frustration as he gives up trying to get Felix to open his mouth.

"...nothing." Mary says, slouching lightly as she turns back. "We were just talking about how his father wouldn't have liked it here, what with some of the same-sex couples we've seen here."

"Yeah," Alice backs Mary up, lieing through her teeth. "There's quite a few."

"Don't give me bull, mother, the only gay couple you've met in this town is Snake and Jund, and even then, we don't even know if they're actually a couple or not; tell me the truth." Cry growls. The women sit in awkward compilation until something hits Cry like a stack of bricks. He face palms, grabbing up the pill he'd set on the couch next to Felix, and pulling out another from the bottle with a mutter of, "Stupid!"

"What?" Alice asks, looking at her son as he leans in and whispers in Felix's ear. Whatever he says seems to calm him down, and Felix opens his mouth so Cry can drop the pills in. He hands Felix the cup Mary had filled and he drinks greedily as his heart calms down.

"What happened?" Mary asks, peeking through her hands, which she'd hidden behind when Cry had yelled. Felix looks to his mother, breathing heavy, but breathing nonetheless, and lays back down with a huff.

"I... just had.. a panic attack." He replies with short breath.

"A bad one, too." Cry says. "Most last for a minute or so, and calm down, but this one lasted three minutes and twenty-two seconds and he's only now cooling off."

"Wh-"

"Basically, his heart fluctuated too quickly, causing a rise in blood pressure, bringing a wave of nausea and dizziness, which made him strain to breath, as his lungs were most likely cutting off all blood flow from the heart so his heart beat would regulate again; the lack of blood, however, caused his heart to beat faster and pump more blood into to valve that pumped blood into the lungs, over-flowing his lungs with oxygenated blood. His heart reacted correctly, though the rest of him did not; he was in a state of catatonic shock, almost." Alice says, her nurse voice -which Cry had only heard once before- becoming evident as she pulled the glass Felix had drunk from the floor. (**A/N; I know nothing about medical stuff, and am too lazy to google, so any of this I just said may or may not be real... probably not.)**

Mary's tense shoulders stiffen even more as she groans.

"Great; we nearly killed my son talking about his love life." She says, rubbing her temples.

"What?"

She'd nearly forgotten Cry was in the room as Alice had given her the medical details.

"Nothing."


	29. Chapter 29

Cry and Felix flop onto the bed, exhausted, as the clock strikes four thirty. Mary and Alice's cars speed out of the driveway, towards the hospital, and both boys let out a breath in which they hadn't realized they were holding. Cry looks Felix in the eye, grinning like an idiot.

"So what were you guys talking about before?.." Cry trails off, not wanting to trigger another panic attack. "Y'know..."

"Nothing..." Felix blushes under Cry's gaze and turns away.

"Felix, don't lie to me..."

"N-nothing, really... j-just, mom asked if I liked you, and..." Felix gulps.

"That's it? What triggered the panic attack then?" Cry asks, pulling Felix's shoulder back to face him.

"M-my dad... h-he didn't like gays, and I remembered once h-he hit m-me because I-I said you had pretty eyes, a-and, even though he didn't do it again, I-I'm still upset with him." Felix shudders as the memory hits him again, but the warmth of Cry's hand on his shoulder keeps him breathing steady.

Cry stares at him with wide eyes.

"He was _that _homophobic? That he _hit you _for something you were too innocent to comprehend?"

"Yeah..."

"That's insane." Cry scoffs, but squeezes his shoulder nonetheless.

"Yeah." They sit in silence a moment before Felix turns back to Cry all the way, looking in his eyes. "...I meant it; you have pretty eyes."

Cry blushes.

"No I don't." He mutters.

Felix scoffs. "Cry, you need to learn how to accept compliments."

"Never!" Cry yells, causing Felix to chuckle as he jumps on Cry, giving him a noogy. They fall to the floor in a fit of laughter.

"...I wasn't lieing..." Cry stops laughing to look at Felix, who was now on top of him, with sad eyes.

"You keep trying to tell me I'm good-looking, but I'm too far gone." He whispers to Felix.

"You are good-looking, Cry. You're a sexy beast!" Cry can't help but chuckle as Felix smiles down at Cry. "...Beautiful, even."

Cry blushes.

"Thanks."

"There we go." Felix grins at Cry, noticing their close proximity, but never moving.

"You have pretty eyes, too." Cry says, looking into Felix's eyes. Felix laughs. Cry blushes, punching him in the arm in attempt to get up. "Ass."

"I'm sorry, it's just nobody's ever complimented me on my eyes before." Felix says, still laughing. Cry felt his body shaking along with Felix's laughter. He blushes, looking down at their legs that had tangled together, and their waists pressed against each other's.

"Well, you do."

"Thank you." Felix looks at Cry, grin spreading on his face as he leant closer to the brunette's face, examining it. "You're blushing, aren't you?"

"No!" Cry says, but the heat rises up to his cheeks and he feels them burn hot with a deep blush. Felix smiles cockily.

"I never though a 'kool kid' like Cryaotic would blush at the though of being trapped under a sexy beast like m-" Felix tries to speak, but a loud clap of thunder and a flash of lightning make themselves present, knocking off the power and shutting off the light; which was still on from when Alice had come up. He cringes, throwing his head down and rolling off of Cry. Cry takes the opportunity to jump Felix, climbing on top of him as he had just done, and positioning his legs on either side of the blonde, a smirk playing at his lips.

"And _I _never thought the brave PewDiePie would be scared of a little rain; I guess we both thought wrong." Cry smirks as another shot of thunder rings through the air. "Now what were you saying about your mom thinking you liked me?"

**Hey guys, short little thing for ya, just thought you'd like it; I got really close to Pewdiecry in this one but... I think you'll just have to wait 'til the next few chapters. ;) Another thing; could anyone draw me a cover art for SA? I think it's time for a cover art and I suck at any form of drawing, especially on a kindle. Any artists out there? Hit me up in the PM box. Doesn't even really need to be related to the story that much, just pewdiecry. Again, please. Love you guys, liv.**


	30. Chapter 30

**Ahhhh! I need you guys' help again! So I've found a cover art for SA, but as I upload from a kindle fire, I don't know how to do things. I have the picture saved, but whenever I try to change my story cover it won't let me; I've resulted to changing my avatar all together to the cover art, but I don't wanna relate to just one of my stories for the whole profile. **

**My kindle won't let me put up a saved picture on my story, what do I do? Did my avatar even change? I'm so damned confused. Sorry for the rant. Hold on, here it is:**

Rain pours outside and Cry can't help but shudder as the rain slams against the window next to the two boys.

"So?" Cry asks, turning toward Felix. "You gonna tell me? Or do I have to speak to your mother?"

"You're really persistent." Felix dejects, trying to move the conversation away from the touchy subject that was his sexuality.

"I know. Now spill." Cry just gives Felix an icy stare, waiting pointedly for the blonde to begin speaking.

"Fine," Felix sighs, crossing his arms. "My mom was a little curious why we were holding hands, I guess. She looked all knowing-like, like she knew something we didn't and then she mentioned my dad, and Elise, and I just... couldn't stop it. Sorry."

Cry shakes his head.

"It's fine, it's not your fault." He says, engulfing Felix in a hug. Felix hugs back, feeling warmed by Cry's touch. Cry pulls away. "Minx's probably up. Wanna call her?"

"Why would we call minx?" Felix questions.

"Just to calm our nerves; I can tell you guys are great friends, and I've known her forever... I just figured... we don't have to..." Cry says, awkwardly rubbing his neck.

"No way, I still wanna talk to her! I'll get my laptop." Felix says, hopping up. Cry smiles lightly and sits up again, waiting for Felix to sit back down.

"Hello?" A female voice rings through the speakers on the laptop as Felix sits. "Felix?"

"And Ryan." Cry greets. Felix gives him a questioned look, but turns the camara towards him. Cry waves.

"You arse." Was all Minx says before grinning widely. "Does this mean you'll be doing face cam?"

"Hell no." Cry laughs. "But that's not why we wanted to talk to you."

"Then why?"

"We just wanted to talk to our Minxypoo." Cry says, feigning innocence. Minx glares. "Ok, Ok, we had a stressful night and wanted to talk."

"Yeah." Felix croaks, his throat dry. "It's really rainy and shit out here."

"So?"

"Felix is a pussy." Cry says simply.

"Nu uh!" Felix laughs. "I just don't like storms!"

The boom of thunder rattles outside and Felix does his best to cover up the whimper that escapes his mouth, but Minx is already laughing. Cry reaches out to give a sympathetic pat to the hand, but stops as he hears Minx 'awweee.'

"Aww, shaddup." Cry laughs. Minx grins at the boys, but as Cry turns away, gives Felix the _we need to talk _face. Felix gulps.

"So you wanna play something with Ken later? We haven't done a proper ttt round in a while." She says, locking eyes with both boys.

"Sure." Cry says, smiling. "You up to it, Pewds?"

"Totally."

* * *

"You sure you don't want me to stay?" Cry asks, hesitant, as he approaches the door. Thunder booms outside and Felix shudders, resisting the urge to call Cry back as he nodded his head, dismissing the brunette. Cry gives a hesitant look back at Felix, but steps out into the hall, dragging his computer bag onto his shoulder. "Whatever. See ya."

"Bye Cry." Felix cries behind Cry as the door closes softly. He listens to Cry pad down the steps and out the front door, watching from the window to ensure Cry got home safely, before sucking in a breath and turning back to his laptop. Minx's Skype icon blinked on, signaling she was online, and he hesitates before pressing it. She answers immediately.

"Felix."

"Why do we need to have another 'talk' like this, Minx? I quite liked our relationship without seriousness." Felix says, trying to lighten the mood. Minx barely lets out a smile before returning her face to the glower she previously held.

"What did you do to Cry?" She demands.

"Nothing! I swear!" He yells, raising his hands in defense.

"Two years ago, when I got my channel, and Cry just created 'sup guy' as his channel cover, we made a deal. I would be the first person he talked to about taking his mask off, first to see him bare-faced again. Not even his mum would come before me. What. Did. You. Do?"

"N-nothing! I just- I don't- he actually promised you that?" Felix stutters, trying to form words that wouldn't come out. He felt a gigantic knot form in his gut as Minx nods, somber eyes locking with his. "Hell, now I feel bad."

"Don't be," She says, shaking her head, "There must've been a good reason for him to show you first. You two _have _been spending a bit of time together."

"What are you trying to say?" Felix asks, the knot contracts painfully and he feels a rush of de ja vous strike him as he clutched at his stomach. "He promised, he should've kept that promise!"

"I know, but maybe..."

"What?"

"Look, Felix, I've known Cry was bi for almost as long as I've known him himself. I'm just saying, maybe he..." She cuts herself off, knowing from the nights of constant messages talking about how great Felix was, she wouldn't be doing Cry a favor by telling Felix. "Never mind."

"Wait wait wait, are you saying Cry might _like _me?" The knot loosens as a leap of joy jumps throughout Felix's body as he tries to calm himself.

"Wh- I- I never said that! It's just a possibility." Minx stutters, but Felix had already hung up to start pacing the floor. His thoughts ran rampant through his mind, and he never bothered settling on just one.

Cry liked him.

Cry _liked _him.

_Cry liked him._

Oh, this would be fun. Very fun indeed...


	31. Chapter 31

_beep beep. Beep beep. Beep be-_

Cry groans, turning back to his laptop with a bowl of cereal in his hands, wondering who was trying to get ahold of him.

_Incoming video call: Minx_

"What do you want, Minx?" He groans, shoveling a spoonful into his mouth. Minx's face gives of a hint of fear and worry as she bites down on her lip nervously.

"Nothing. Just calling to see how you are." She says, avoiding eye contact through the small webcam as Cry's stare grows more indignant.

"You just spoke to me nearly an hour ago." He sighs, ruffling his hair. Minx stays silent. "Minx..."

"Y'know what, never mind, I made a mistake calling you." She says, and Cry could see she was moving her hand to end the call.

"No, wait!" He cries, holding out a hand to stop her. The look of disdain in Minx's face softens Cry's worried expression. "Is this about something Krism did? Because if she hurt you, you know I'll-"

"No, no... Krism didn't do anything, I promise... I did." She says. Cry gives her a questioning look.

"What did you do? I could talk to her if-"

"It wasn't anything towards Krism. I... may have told somebody that I wasn't supposed to tell something they weren't allowed to know and I'm worried the person that told me it would be upset with me." She says, her words quick, and barely spaced.

"What did you tell them?" Cry asks, leaning forward in his chair as he took another spoonful of his breakfast.

"Just... something they weren't supposed to know." Cry sits in silence, contemplating. "...Cry?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you be mad at me if I told someone something you said about them but didn't want them to know? Even if it was something that could better your relationship?" Her voice is soft, and he could see the worry lines cracking her pale face as she cringed, expecting a negative answer.

"...Depends..." Cry sighs, "what did you tell this person?"

"That the other person, the one that told me, liked him..."

"You didn't."

"I did. I'm sorry." Minx shrinks away from the screen, waiting for Cry's anger-filled rant about how she wasn't supposed to know anyway and Felix would never want to speak to him again, and yadda yadda,but silence ensues. She looks to the screen to see a heart-broken looking Cry, tears forming in his ceramic blue eyes behind his glasses. "...Cry?"

"What?" His reply is sharp, filled with just enough anger to be broken. Minx cringes, but a smile forms on her lips anyways.

"You didn't let me finish." She says. Cry, who had taken another somber bite of food, nearly chokes as his eyes divert from the bowl to the screen.

"What?" He asks.

"You didn't let me finish; Felix likes you back." Cry gives her an astounded look.

"Look, if you're-"

"I'm not kidding. I'd been talking to him about you a while ago and I asked him if he'd liked you; though he didn't quite say yes, he _did _get all flustered and red."

"That doesn't say anything, Minx!" Cry groans, dropping his head into his hands. So much pain wells up in his head and just for a second, sees the bottle of anxiety pills that slow his heartbeat down that he kept in his bathroom cabinet. He saw it empty, with his hand clutches around a note spilling his nasty secrets.

"But, it _does _mean there's a chance." Cry pulls his head up. "Just go talk to him."

Cry was about to reply, but the sharp tone of the doorbell rings throughout the house.

"Gotta go; call you later." He says, clicking end before Minx could say anything. He walks to the door and opens it carelessly; he'd only expected Russ or one of his mothers chatty friends, not a warm pair of lips over his and the sudden feeling of blindness as a soft, firm hand clamps over his eyes.

He tried to fight, but the stranger's other hand pulled him closer as he was pushed into the house, the door closing behind them. He could hear Pheobe's distinctive mews as she pawed at the stranger's leg playfully. The warm pair of lips against Cry's separate and he could feel all composure leave his body as he felt a toung intrude his mouth without permission. The hand that had held him close as the stranger closed the door travels to the safety of the small of Cry's back and Cry instinctively pulls his arms back to grab it, clinging onto the rough arm as he identifies every possible person it could be.

_Russ? _He suggests, but the idea convulses him. _No, he'd never cheat on Red. Jund? No way, he's got snake! Raven? Too strong. Jenny from the grocery store? Too tall. Mark, from down the street? Wait, he moved out-of-town for college at least a month ago. Then who is it?!_

Then it hits him.

_"You didn't let me finish; Felix likes you back."_

_"Just go talk to him."_

"Felix." He groans, pulling back and trying to escape his captor's strong arms. The stranger grips tighter, pulling Cry back, but never touching their lips to his.

"Yes?" The voice that replies is deep and seductive, and Cry nearly puts him down as Mark from down the street, come to collect a bit of gold from the end of the rainbow, if it weren't for the slight mis-pronunciation of 'yes', indicating it was indeed his Swedish friend.

"Why are you here?" Cry asks.

"For you, of course."

**Oh sheiit, what now? *devious laughter* review to find out, because, just to be special, I may just be an angel and leave a nice little preview of the next chapter. _Might just..._**


	32. Chapter 32

** Short sort of filler-chapter, hope you likes- oh, and I never really got to thank SociallyObscene a.k.a. false-euneirophrenia for the amazing cover art. Thanks bb! It's amazin'.**

Cry couldn't breath, but didn't quite care at the moment. His mind was soaring, extacy filling his veins as Felix presses his lips to his own again, finally uncovering Cry's eyes. The passion and heat behind the kiss intensifies, but is quickly interrupted by the soft, hungry mewing of Pheobe; Cry had yet to refill her food dish. He laughs.

"You hungry Pheobs?" He asks, crouching down and scooping the calico up in his arms. Felix smiles as Cry stands, petting the cat with a playful glare.

"Damned cats; always ruining the moment." He mutters, following Cry to the kitchen.

"Cats are the future, Pewds; you never see pictures of nazi-dogs, do you? No. I've seen hitler the cat at least twice now on tumblr alone." Cry says.

"Whatever."

"So..." Cry says, standing up after refilling the bowl. "Minx told you."

"Indirectly," Felix says, awkwardly leaning against the counter as he takes in his surroundings, "but yeah."

"And... you're not creeped out by that?"

"Obviously not, Cry." Felix laughs. "She got me a while back."

"Same." One second Cry's standing by the fridge, the next he's moving swiftly towards Felix, a mischievous grin on his face. He entwines his hands with Felix's, pressing their chests together. He says, his voice narry a whisper, "... Does this mean we're together now, Felix?"

"Only if you let me kiss you again." Felix growls back.

"Of course."

"Then yes; we're together."

"So what do you wanna do?" Cry asks after a moment of silence. "I've got an extra ds if you wanna race in Donkey Kong, or we can go back to-"

Cry was cut off by a car door slamming outside and rapid footsteps. Cry steps away from Felix just as the front door opens and Alice rushes into the house.

"Oh, Cry, Felix, you're here; I just came to grab my late shift pager during break, I'll be there all night again, but don't worry, Mary and I have tomorrow off. We're taking you both to Doctor Greyson's." Alice says, quickly rushing towards her bedroom and exiting with a light blue pager in her left hand.

"But-"

The door slams shut and Alice's car speeds out of the wet drive and down the street. Cry sighs, but turns back to Felix anyways. Their fingers interlock.

"So? You wanna play Donkey Kong?"

"I think you know what I want." Felix growls, pushing their lips together again.

* * *

"You boys ready?" Mary asks, knocking lightly on Felix's door as she enters. Cry was sat next to a shirtless Felix playing Left 4 Dead, his hair mussed with sleep. Mary sighs; of course they weren't ready, they were teenage boys. She says, "We have to go in ten minutes, at least pull on a shirt and fix your hair."

Cry looks up from the game, pausing it, then to Felix as a blush tints his pale cheeks. Mary shakes her head and closes the door, leaving the boys in silence. Felix groans as he stands up, pulling on a tee-shirt before offering a hand to Cry to pull him up. Cry accepts, pecking Felix on the cheek sweetly when stood correctly. They walk down the steps and out the door to the front porch where both mothers stood, waiting, trying to conceal their utter euphoria at the fact that they'd kissed for the first time nearly twenty-four hours ago.

That euphoria quickly ends for Felix when he's led to his mother's red suburban. Fear over takes him. Alice hadn't said anything about a car yesterday.

"How exactly far _is _this doctor?" Felix asks, his voice course with fear as he feels his heart rate quicken.

"Not far, I promise, but we still need a car to get there." Mary says, giving Felix a forlorn look. "Look, I want you to get better, but you can't do that unless you face your fears. It's not even a twenty-minute car ride. It'll be fine."

"Bu-but E-I c-I can't, mom. _Please._" Felix stumbles for the right words as the blood rushing through his ears becomes louder and he feels light-headed as Cry opens the door and motions for him to enter, grabbing his hand as he does so.

"You have to, Felix, I promise we'll be fine." Mary says. Alice gives him a guilty glance before turning her attention to the street outside as Mary backs out of the driveway.

_Oh, but mother can't you see I'm not as scared of loosing my own life than I am loosing another love?_


End file.
